Finally everyone fell asleep in some sort of dysfunctional pile of limbs and stayed that way until morning. When I emerged from the bedroom half alive and cursing the dawn, I made my way to the kitchen for some
"I have poop on my shoulder!"
"Baby or Abner?"
"I don't really know. Whoever rubbed their butt hole on me last night."
Just like that. No caps lock, no shocking discovery, no ewww or gross, just poop on the shoulder. Now some of you may be wondering why we are so calm about poop, and I'll tell you. It is because Abner has gotten poop on us no less that 50 times in his 3 years without a proper tail. And while it is still disgusting, after a while the shock of poop on your clothes just kinda fades away.
That is until three hours later when you decided to hug your sweet husband and find yourself literally face to face with Abner's shit smear. That was a little shocking. We typically change our poop clothes straight away.