Saturday, October 30, 2010

Time flies when you're having fun

Last month Ryan and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary.  Yes, I know I have yet to post pictures of our honeymoon, but that was so last year.

When September first rolled around I was like wow, wait, what?  It is already September?  Have we really been married for a year?  As September plugged along and the weekend was approaching I started thinking about what I was doing last year each day.

Last year on this day I was finalizing my guest list...last year on this day I was doing my final dress fitting.  Until it was the 26th and last year on this day I was trying not to pass out or shit my pants OR BOTH!

We originally planned on going back to the Blue Sky Lodge where we stayed on our wedding night but decided to change it up and head over to Morro Bay.  It is crazy how close we live and never seem to make it over there.  Especially if you consider that they have gelato classico, brown butter cookies, taco temple, the beach AND sea shanty pancakes all in a 4 block radius.

We had the dogs with us so our lodging options were slim to say the least and we ended up at the Dolphin Inn.  Certainly not the most romantic of locations, but it was entertaining.

I still can't believe how fast the year went.  I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that I'm looking forward to all the next years and the new adventures to come.

Dominoes, brown butter cookies, wine, & gelato!

The score

Matching sand beards

My top=no comment

We didn't smash the cake on the wedding day, but we did save it all year to smash it on the anniversary

The wallpaper in our room.  Seriously hillarious

Because every post needs Abner's ass


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Good to know

One evening while on our honeymoon in St. Lucia, Ryan and I decided to venture away from the resort and go to a local music festival.  We took a hotel cab there and realized about an hour or so in that we kinda liked life on the resort better.  You know, where you could actually hear yourself think....and booze is free.

So we walked to a nearby hotel and called for a cab to take us back.

At some point during our twenty minute drive back to the hotel, the fact that I don't like ice in my water was brought up by either myself or Ryan, I really can't remember.  I am pretty sure we were talking about strange it was that all week I asked for ice in my water.  That is of course because it melted in 20 seconds anyway and kept the water at least somewhat cooler than the temperature of my own saliva!

Yes, I don't do well in heat

Anyway, the cab driver, who was a rather interesting fellow, starts talking about how I am right not to put ice in my drinks and telling stories about how ice cold beverages are bad for the body and that the elders of the islands don't use ice, etc.  He also informed us that drinking hot tea will cool your body down faster than ice water.  Possibly true cab man, but the last think I want when it is 100 degrees and 87 percent humidity is a cup of HOT TEA!

I can't say the same for the British who drank hot tea every afternoon, although I guess I did partake in an afternoon cappuccino on the beach a time or two.  What were we talking about again, ah yes, ice water.

So the cabby and Ryan are going back and forth, Ryan happens to be a fan of ice in his water, and suddenly cab man looks at Ryan and says, "My grandfather is 84 years old and has an erection harder than mine.  And he never used ice, wouldn't even touch the stuff."

Apparently he credits his strong erection to never using ice

Ryan and I look at each other, both thinking the same thing but not saying it aloud and finally Ryan just says, "Good to know."

Just in case you were wondering what we/I were thinking, it was a little something like this.  Why in the hell would you know ANYTHING about your grandfathers erections!?

Ah, the people you meet in the places you go...

Monday, October 25, 2010

But I don't wanna do it

When we are kids it was things like going to bed, going to school, taking a nap or brushing our teeth. As we got older it was getting home by curfew, doing our homework, making our bed or taking out the trash.  Older still and more, I don't want to, followed by guess what, life isn't fair. 

I don't want to go to my college class today, I don't want to pay my cable bill, I dont' want to turn down that 8th shot of Jaggermeister and stop dancing on the bar. Only difference is that as you turned the corner to adulthood, you actually didn't have to because there was nobody there making you. No mom at the edge of the table making you take 5 bites of vegetables. No back up to get your ass out of bed when you hit the snooze again.  You could eat Taco Bell for every meal, EVERY DAY.  So what, I only did it like 4 times, don't judge me! 

Well, guess what, it's true, life is still full of things we don't necessarily want to do and still totally unfair.  Just today I didn't want to walk my dogs, or get out of bed or even make the bed for that matter.  Followed by my wanting to have chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, not work out, not sweep the kitchen floor, not get my lunch packed and damn it, I don't really want to go to work either. 

Amazingly enough, I did all the things I didn't want to do AND had porridge for breakfast.  OK fine, and a bite of a cookie, but it was a small bite.  Tomorrow I will do all the things I don't want to to all over again and the next day and the next along with all of you.  

Some days it is easier than others to get things you don't want to do done, but even on the days when everything is unfair and everyone sucks and I have no cookies to make it better, I look around and I am so grateful that Ryan and I do the things we don't really want to because it is all those things that afford us the things we actually want to do.

Thanks babe, for working so hard for our little family.
We love you

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Look for him in Brazil, 2014

Seriously though, with his speed, ability to turn on a dime, low center of gravity and teeth to bite ankles of opponents you can't go wrong!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Flea Circus

If you drive down our street and wonder if we've joined the circus, we have. 

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Next, I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat

A while back, Ryan and I were in the kitchen preparing lunch.  While I chopped vegetables for salad, he was dressing some zucchini for the BBQ.  I watched him as he opened the spice drawer and pulled out the drizzle bottle of olive oil.  He positioned it over the tray of sliced squash and began to drizzle.  About 2 seconds later there was no more drizzle, the bottle was empty. 

I could literally see the wheels turning in his head as he paused and then turned to put the EMPTY bottle back.

Me: "There is a big bottle of olive oil in the pantry if you want to go ahead and refill that before putting it back."

Ryan: "Why would I do that.  If I put it back empty it will magically refill itself."

Me: "You have got to be kidding me, right?"

Ryan: "Nope."

And he put the empty bottle back on the rack and closed the door.

I was completely dumbfounded, really annoyed and also kind of entertained because, well,  IT IS TRUE!  From that moment I was like screw that, I'm not filling that damn bottle.  So for the next couple of days I exclusively used the big bottle for all of my olive oil needs.  I'll admit there were a few mishaps and overdoses but I was determined that HE would refill the stupid drizzle bottle.

Well, while cooking dinner a while ago I, without even thinking, went to grab the drizzle bottle and realized it was empty.  I then proceeded to fill it with olive oil and was nearly half way done before I realized that I had caved, lost, completely failed my own olive oil strike. 

Whatever, I thought, he probably won't even notice that it is refilled. 

Saturday, October 9, 2010.  Ryan opens the fridge for some blue cheese dressing.

Him: "Eww, this dressing is all gross."


Me: "You have GOT to be fucking kidding me, you are just going to put it back?"

He smirks and closes the refridgerator door.

I walk over, grab it out of the fridge and toss it into the trash and then, in my MOST condeicending voice say, "OH THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO HARD!"

A minute later I'm dressing the salad with olive oil from the drizzle bottle and he just looks at me and starts to laugh.

Me: "You are such an infant!"

Him:  "See, like magic."

Friday, October 8, 2010

A morning riddle

Planet earth is approximately 75% water. 

The human body is approximately 75% water. 

Our house is approximately 85% hardwood flooring.

So, riddle me this.  If our house is 85% hardwood flooring then why, oh WHY do 99.9% of all body malfunctions end up on my carpet?

One second Lilly is lounging on our inside grass rug, trying to catch a fly and the next second I look over and there is an ENORMOUS pile of vomit beside her.  You guys, the small carpet is SURROUNDED BY HARDWOOD FLOOR and she had to vomit on the rug.

Now, this would be a predicament on any rug/carpet, but this grassy rug happens to be the shaggiest shag rug ever to shag and I have absolutely NO idea how I'm going to get dog vomit out of it.  The fibers on this carpet are literally 8 inches long.  It looks like a huge green toupee. 

Well, a green toupee with regurgitated kibble tangles. 

Anyone want a dog?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Lions, Tigers and Bears


Abner is ready for Halloween

Are you?

Monday, October 4, 2010

It's oh so quiet

It's oh so still...

Right now my house is so quiet that I could actually hear the proverbial pin drop; that is if there were someone here to drop it.  There is no Abner snoring, no Lilly sighing and rolling her eyes so intensely that you CAN hear it, no Peach chirping and annoying the dogs, no Ryan doing all the little things Ryan does, no television, no radio, not even a truck filling up with gas around the corner.  Silence.  And...


Well, I loved it for about an hour, I mean I LOVED it for that hour.  But then it got kind of old.  Sometimes there is so much background noise that I find myself begging for a moment of silence.  If only I could have one minute of complete silence I could ground myself, calm my mind, pee without Abner butting his giant head in to see what I am doing.

Seems tonight I got my minute.  Quite frankly, that is all I needed.

*Just in case you were worried....No, I did not lock my entire family in the basement, not this time anyway.