clean floors, dirty paws

Everyone knows someone who is "that" guy or "that" girl.  You know the one, he or she is always saying the wrong thing or their sense of humor, or lack there of, is constantly being misinterpreted.  You either know someone like this or YOU ARE this person.  Either way, sometimes other peoples words don't come out quite right or you don't read/hear them as they were intended. I fear that I have become "that" girl with the sarcasm and humor in which I write about my son.  Only a small handful of actual people have brought it to my attention, but it was enough for me to take their words into consideration and re-read some of my postings about Caches and the challenges we face.  And you know what?  They are right.  Some of the things I write are a little bit inappropriate, not quite politically correct, and certainly not how some people would speak of their child, but this is how I cope. My writing and a VERY select group of people in my life whom

Not too often, but sometimes I use abbreviations for words that should not be abbreviated.  This makes Ryan a little nuts.  He already teases me for saying SF, NY, LA and traff. (traffic), so when I used one of my sister in laws abbreviations the other night, he was quick to give me the eye.  We were in the kitchen making dinner and Ryan had assembled a beautiful salad.  He asked me if I thought it needed anything else and my response..."No, it's gorg!" "Gorg!? You know babe, we really need to start using proper English.  We don't want Caches picking up on on this gorg and traff shit." "Really.  You are going to tell me to stop using silly abbreviations while in the same breath cursing?" "Well yeah, because shit is a REAL word!" ...perfect

Okay, it's happening again, I'm totally slacking off on the ol' blog.  I blame it on the fact that my brain has shrunk down the the size of a wrinkled raisin and getting creative thoughts from this dried up, humiliated grape onto paper...computer? is nearly impossible.  I will tell you this though, I have a multitude of utterly BRILLIANT blog posts written INSIDE that little raisin brain, they just aren't physically written here yet.  At night, when the baby is finally peacefully asleep, for an hour at least, I think, "Oh, I should really write."  Then write away I do, coming up with clever titles, funny stories, sarcastic tidbits that I'm sure all of you would love, all in my head.   But before I can rouse my exhausted body off the sofa to get the computer the brilliance is gone, thoughts and sarcasm fleeting, and all I want to do is sleep for 30 hours.  Bottom line, I have an exhausting child, and the way I choose to parent him and care for my house

Ryan and I have taken Cache to the park a few times and each time, a few minutes in, we look at each other and ask ourselves why we thought an 8 month old would have any fun at a park!  All he likes to do is swing and watch the other kids play so we decided it would be better to buy him a swing for the backyard and save the whole awkward, "why is that creepy couple staring at my kid?" routine.  Of course we never actually bought said swing, but the intention was there. Then, last weekend my mom brought over a little surprise, a swing! And since there were no good branches to hang it from in the backyard tree, Ryan built a perfect little modified swing set under the arbor. Thanks, Dad!

When Caches has an extra good time eating, Lilly gives him the eyes  And everyone knows he's going to get a thorough lick down...  And on about the tenth bowl drop/avocado slip the fun is over Until next time...

I am a person who enjoys my alone time.  As a child I often "disappeared" to play by myself and this disappearing act continued into adulthood.  Of course I play well with others too, but there is just something sacred to me about alone time. Especially now that I get NONE!! I'm not asking for a lot,  just maybe 20 minutes to be alone...ALL ALONE.  That means no dogs tick ticking toenails following me around all day, no baby attached to my chest or hip with industrial strength velcro, no husband (love you babe), and no damn cat who shows up the second I get one fucking second to myself and thinks it is appropriate to get two inches from my face and demand attention!  I HAVE NO ATTENTION LEFT TO GIVE KITTY!!! I even hid in the garage one day while Ryan was inside with the baby and out of nowhere, CHIRP...the cat is on my shoulder like a frickin parakeet!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm seriously one step away form sneaking off to a barber shop at 2AM and shaving my head

Last weekend we attended a Little Mermaid birthday party for my cute as can be cousin, Calleigh.  I wasn't comfortable with Caches getting in the chlorine tub pool, but I knew he'd love to be part of the action so I did what any pale, un-toned, post-baby body mom would do; I sent my husband in!  Caches had a BLAST watching all of the other kids splashing about.  He really is an onlooker, a trait I am curious if he will keep or outgrow as he gets older.  The party was picture perfect with mermaid themed snacks and a delicious beach ball cake!  My cousin Jamie (Calleigh's mama) is super creative and also a brilliant photographer (she did Caches newborn shots).  You can see the mermaid party and a whole lot of beautiful photos here . 

This afternoon I prepared Caches' lunch as usual and we sat down together to eat.  I typically feed him his lunch at the same time that I eat mine because if I dare even think about eating anything in his presence without offering him some Ol' hungry hungry hippo has a hissy fit! My lunch included an apple which I cut in half giving one half to Caches to teeth on.  He likes to gnaw on the cold apple in between bites and I have given him large peeled pieces of apple to chew on countless times with no problem...until today. We were all finished with lunch so I got up to clear our plates and left Caches with his apple in the high chair.  I was talking to him as I rinsed off dishes and that's when I noticed he was "chipmunking,"  the phrase I have given his ability to hoard food in his cheeks.  I walked over to sweep some of the apple shavings out of his mouth but before I had the chance he coughed, gasped and began to choke. "STAY CALM!" I thought, an

I got up from the couch for three minutes to get a glass of water and came back in to this...

Who the hell kidnapped my FINALLY somewhat pleasant child and replaced him with pure evil in a really cute outfit!? Oh my GOD is this kid grumpy! We made it through the first 4.5 months of hellish screaming all day due to reflux and colic but with all of that finally under control he was becoming only mildly unpleasant to be around.  In fact,  the past few weeks he was even dare I say, a HAPPY BABY! Well that lasted all of a week and a couple of teeth and a little bug had to come along and fuck everything up!  Again I am sure some of you think I am being dramatic, and that a bubbly little 8 month old baby couldn't possibly be that fussy.  Well, you are wrong.  He is THAT bad, I have witnesses! He has been so grumpy and clingy in fact, that I booked a doctors appointment for him this morning to check his ears and throat.  I hate to admit this, but I kinda secretly wished for there to be something wrong so I could give him an excuse other than worlds biggest drama king.  Turn

Caches Michael, Today you are 8 months old, and in stark contrast to your 7 month old letter, you did NOT wake up smiling today.  In fact woke up downright dreadful...ALL NIGHT LONG!  You have had a fever and a serious case of the grumpies for the past couple of days and all I can attribute it to are the two new teeth I can see peeking out from your swollen gums.  Who knew a couple of teeth could cause such a fuss!  Now, I know this teething business is tough stuff, but if you in fact what to eat all the food items you attempt to snatch out of my hand then you are going to need teeth!  You have also been a clingy little koala bear screaming if I even so much as THINK about putting you down or handing you off.  I admit it can be trying, carrying around an almost 17 pound baby all day, but to be honest baby, I am kind of relishing in it.  For I know that soon enough you will be mobile and far to busy exploring the world around you to want your mama holding you back. You continu