To Make Things Clear

Everyone knows someone who is "that" guy or "that" girl.  You know the one, he or she is always saying the wrong thing or their sense of humor, or lack there of, is constantly being misinterpreted.  You either know someone like this or YOU ARE this person.  Either way, sometimes other peoples words don't come out quite right or you don't read/hear them as they were intended.

I fear that I have become "that" girl with the sarcasm and humor in which I write about my son.  Only a small handful of actual people have brought it to my attention, but it was enough for me to take their words into consideration and re-read some of my postings about Caches and the challenges we face.  And you know what?  They are right.  Some of the things I write are a little bit inappropriate, not quite politically correct, and certainly not how some people would speak of their child, but this is how I cope.

My writing and a VERY select group of people in my life whom I can genuinely trust to understand are how I make it through some days.  If my humor, sarcasm and yes, sometimes crass way of writing about my baby bother you then I think you are reading the wrong blog.  You see, not all us care to pretend that babies are all puppies and rainbows.  As cute and sweet as they are, puppies still piss on the floor and rainbows, well I'm sure they do something offensive. 

I won't get defensive and sit here and tell you how deeply I love my son because if you think I don't simply because I get frustrated and/or choose to write with a somewhat different sense of humor about how I feel about said frustration, then my expression of love will only fall of deaf ears.  I will say this though.  If even ONE mom reads my honest words about how hard it can be parenting a high-needs baby, or ANY baby for that matter, and it makes her feel just a little less crazy or know that she is not alone in her struggle then I feel my words were worth it. 

And when I tell you that sometimes, after struggling for forty plus minutes to get Caches down for a nap only to have him wake up screaming fifteen minutes later that I flip off the monitor with BOTH hands, well, maybe you will gasp and call me a horrible mother or maybe you will blush because you have done it too.  Except you only used one hand.  I'm here to tell you.  It feels better with BOTH hands!

I don't expect readers to like me, relate to me, feel sorry for me, or even believe half of the shit I write, but if you are a mother then you know that ONLY YOU KNOW what is best for your child, what is in your heart and what is really happening behind closed doors .  Never have I been more judged or offered more unsolicited advice than when I became a mother and it has taken me nearly nine months to realize that I don't give a damn how you think I should parent my baby.  Flipping the bird and all, there is not a baby around who is more loved than this guy...