Showing posts from January, 2012

Free To A Good Home

Free to a Good Home:

6 month old pure breed human baby up for adoption.  He comes with his own bottles, blankets and clothes.  We adopted him thinking he would be a good playmate for our dogs, but it turns out we don't have time for him.  He has a lot of energy and always wants to play. He is a sweet baby, but is not yet fully potty trained and chews on toys that aren't his.  The other morning he even peed in his bed and I had to change the sheets and do an extra load of laundry.  Plus he keeps us up at night crying and I worry that he will give our dogs germs and possibly bite them.  Please contact me if you are interested in adopting this baby.  I would hate to have to bring him to the pound and have him put to sleep, but we just can't keep him. 

Sound crazy?  What if the rolls were reversed?  What if you had to get rid of the baby instead?  I mean, in reality, isn't the baby the one that is taking up all your free time?
I am so sick and tired of reading about peopl…


It feels a bit like Summer in January over here so we took advantage of a particularly gorgeous morning and visited the park.  Caches is still pretty young to "play" at the park, but we are old enough to play for him, with him? 

Whatever the case, it was a nice time and brought back fond memories of wet butts from swings and slides on early Summer days as a kid. 

Future note to self: Bring a towel next time, wet butts are not as fun as an adult.

Not 100% sure if his face is saying, "wee, that was fun!" or "HOLY SHIT, maybe they ARE going to kill me!" 


About five years ago, just before Ryan and I started dating, he took Lilly in for a teeth cleaning.  The tech took her back and then brought out the paperwork for Ryan to go over and sign before he left.  As with any surgery, you are required to quite literally sign your/her life away and then promise not to sue the doctor if something goes wrong and you, or your dog, you know like DIES.

Ryan was so caught of guard and so in love with his dog that he declined, had Lilly brought back out and promptly left the vet office.  In the years following, he has commented no less than a dozen times on Lilly needing her teeth cleaned.  "The vet is having a special, we really should look into getting Lilly's teeth cleaned."  "Hey babe, what do you think about having Lilly's teeth cleaned?"   "WOW, Lilly has some horrid shit breath, let's have her teeth cleaned."  But nothing ever comes of it. 

And since there was NO way I was going to pressure him into it,…


I wanted to wait until Caches showed real interest in food before introducing him to solids, particularly because he is so sensitive in the digestive area.  So when I couldn't eat without him chewing the air and trying to steal every single item that went into my mouth, I knew it was time. 

We started with zucchini and he LOVED it.  Next was avocado which was also a  hit...until he broke out in a rash.  The GI wanted us to go back to just zucchini for a week and then introduce green vegetables one at a time each for 4-5 days.  So far I have a veggie lover on my hands!  He had peas the other day and cried when I stopped feeding him.  Like tears running down his face, cried...FOR PEAS! 

We shot a video of his first meal but I have no idea how to flip it and I doubt you all want to turn your heads sideways to watch it so I'll skip the video and pictures will have to do. 

How We Roll

Caches doesn't do anything easy, ANYTHING!  He still doesn't really like to ride in the stroller and he will only stay in the shopping cart seat for about 5 minutes so out of desperation, where most of my brilliant ideas come from, we came up with this.

Yep, this is how my 6 month old son likes to ride around.  The wind in his face and no straps of oppression holding him down.  Boy am I in trouble in about fifteen years.  
And before you send me hate mail and point out to me how dangerous this is, let me clarify.  I only do this when I am with another person so I can hold him at all times.  Well, at all times accept for 11 dangerous seconds where I selfishly left him alone so I could take a video and post it on my blog.   
Oh, and I'm also aware of how dirty the shopping carts are and that my baby will put his filthy hands in his mouth, but dont' worry, I'll have the dogs lick him clean


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Take a moment to sign the petition against SOPA AND PIPA @
It only takes a moment
End piracy, NOT liberty!

January 17, 1981

The world forever changed on this day, 31 years ago, when my big brother was born.  Never before has there been, and never again will there be, a person quite like Nicolaus Andrew.  He is the reason I wanted a boy for my first born and am hoping for a girl next.  Because I want my daughter to have a big brother like I did. 

There is just something so special about having a brother.  You share the same life;  parents, home, heartbreak, joy, traditions.  You are together for everything.  Of course along the way you make other friends and even get married, but there is no one else on earth who has known you from the moment you were born.  No one else has shared baths and bedtime stories, bedrooms and toys.  No one else that remembers playing bug, building couch forts, falling off bikes, and getting into trouble that mom and dad never found out about. 

Playing, fighting, loving, hating.  The raging hormones and conflicts, the support and companionship.  Always knowing that I had someone…


On chilly days like today, Abner makes the rounds from one heater vent to the next

He will just sit there baking until the heater clicks off.  Then he will glare at you as though you personally turned off HIS heater! 

He also refuses to go out and pee when it is cold.  He will sit by the door but the moment I open it and he feels the draft he backs up like, mom, that is NOT happening, I can totally hold it until the sun come out.

And  then he retreats to his throne atop a million bacon filled pillows to lick is feet inevitably triggering the first throw up that I get to clean up for the day.

Hanging Out

Laundry with Abner's help
Loves the view from up there

Start the Clock

Okay, baby down. That means I have about 20 minutes to write about Christmas, minus the 3 minutes it took to warm up my coffee for the third time this morning.  What does this mean?  This post will be mostly pictures but that is what you really want to see anyway, right?  You don't care about my attempts to be clever or ironic, you just want to see the cute baby! 

Alright, you win, but I am going to at least tell how absolutely crazy we were going out of town for 5 days including 7 hours of driving and sleeping at two different houses with a baby that doesn't sleep, HATE THE CAR SEAT, and is generally unpleasant! 

The good news?  The trip was a success.  We had a chance to visit with a lot of friends and family and introduce Caches to many new loving faces.  And the car ride wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated.  I mean I was literally one blink away from breaking out in a rash for the past two weeks I was so nervous about the car ride.  Listening to him screaming and…

6 Months

On January first, Caches turned six months old.  Six months!  Half of a year! 182.5 days!

Holy shit, I haven't slept in 182.5 days...

Caches Michael,

Today you are six months old.  This means we have managed to keep you alive for a whole half of a year!  Now, you may not think this is all that big of an accomplishment, but trust me son, IT IS!  And this past month has by far been the most exciting and changing of your life; Caches, you are a real live tiny human!

Your days of screaming for hours and hours are behind you making room for lots of smiles in their place.  You still scream, and boy kid, can you SCREAM, but it is no longer an all day event.  I have no idea why you are so moody but I have resolved to stop trying to figure it out and torture myself because the bottom line is I just don't know why, and you aren't talking !  Plus, you don't really care that you are a hot mess of mood swings just waiting for explode.  You actually seem quite content to go from gig…

Happy New Year

Still working on the six month old and Christmas posts, but since nothing in my life is in order I figured I'd keep it up with the blog.

We partied like hundred year old women rock stars polishing off almost a bottle of Champagne and making it to East Coast New Year before giving up and going to bed.  I figured one way or another I'd be up at midnight and sure enough, Cache wanted me to ring in the New Year with some festive screaming around midnight.  Happy Freakin' New Year Mom!

He didn't get the memo that my resolution is to get rid of these bags under my eyes!  Actually, he probably got it and promptly put it through the paper shredder along with my wish list to Santa saying all I wanted for Christmas was ONE FUCKING SILENT NIGHT!!! 

No such luck

Aside from the mind numbing sleep deprivation, I know this year is going to be one for the books and I simply can't wait for all the adventures to come.  You know, like giving your baby a Champagne cork to suck on..

Is Anybody Home?

Knock, knock!  Yes, I'm still here.  It has been a crazy couple of weeks and as always my poor blog is the first thing to be neglected.  Well, my blog and shaving my legs. I have a post about Christmas, New Years, turning into a zombie and Caches turning six months old in the works for this week.  Will any of them actually get posted?  That remains to be seen. 

Today was Caches' six month physical.  He is 27 inches long and 15 lbs 11 oz.  A minimum of three of those 15 pounds are piss and vinegar!  He is also STILL a hot screaming mess in the car which leads me to the heart of my story. 

After the doctors appointment Ryan and I decided to grab some Indian food for lunch.  I LOVE Indian food and probably ate enough for three people.  Of course Caches was trying to grab every single item on the table starting with the knife and settling for the full glass of water making in physically impossible for me to enjoy my meal.  Eating with a baby in your arms is kind of like trying to…