Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Remember how I posted about the six week peak?  Supposedly Caches' fussiness would reach a peak at 6 weeks of age and then slowly taper off.  Completely false. 

Caches took that six week peak as a challenge and was like oh yeah?  You think that is my peak?   I'll give you screaming and crying...I'll give you a peak! 

I'm wondering when he will max out because mommy is considering taking a flying leap off said peak. 

Jokes aside, he really is having a hard time with life, the poor guy.  I have cut some things out of my diet, added a few things to his (probiotics, not food) and am currently looking into some noninvasive treatments for him like craniosacral therapy.  We have an appointment tomorrow and my fingers are crossed that it will help.

I'll let you know how the therapy goes...if I have a scream free moment to do so.

Daddy's ears...love

Saturday, August 27, 2011

2 Months

Yesterday Caches was 2 months old.  

Wow, where did the time go.  

At his two month Dr. appointment he was 
11pounds 1oz
23.5 inches long

He also had his belly button (umbilical hernia) treated with silver nitrate.  
More about that later

And was prescribed a super probiotic for his colic.  
More about that later too

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Just When I Was About To Sell Him At Wal*Mart

He goes all cute on me...

If you get seasick watching this I apologize.  I kind of forgot I was filming

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


We live on the cusp.   Our street is right in the middle of two very different neighborhoods.  The wow, what a gorgeous home neighborhood.  And the holy shit did a hooker just walk by your front window neighborhood.  When we walk the dogs we tend to walk away from the later.

In the gorgeous home neighborhood there lives a cat who must be 249 in cat years.  He is always giving the dogs the evil eye as we walk by and I'm like dude, you are totally entitled to the evil eye, as I yank on Abner's leash.  He didn't get the memo that this wasn't a staring contest.

Anyway, I haven't seen the cat in a while and yesterday I found out why.  It died and is currently decaying on the side of the house by the road.

"Honey, have you seen the cat?"

"No, but I looked all over for him.  He must have run away."

Dude, he is right there!  He literally took five steps and was like that's it, I'm done, 249 is my limit! CAN'T YOU SMELL HIM?  Good god I'm blunt and morbid.  Must be all the sleep I'm getting.

OK, so where the hell am I going with this?  Why are you even still reading? 

Because Abner COULD SMELL IT!!!  Thank GOD I noticed said dead cat before he could figure out where the delicious odor was wafting from.  I guarantee if I wouldn't have noticed his ass would have been rolling in the rotting cat carcass in five seconds flat. Don't believe me?  He was rolling on the sidewalk!  He smelt the cat, dropped a shoulder and rolled on the sidewalk in ecstasy as though it were the real thing. 

Cute, but stupid

Kind of reminded me of the time that Abner rolled in a dead seal carcass at the beach.  Ryan had to drive home with the windows down not only because Abner smelt so bad, but because he was vomiting out the car window. 

"Officer, I promise I haven't been drinking, it's my dog, he smells like seal intestine."

Friday, August 19, 2011

7 Weeks

Wow, I can't believe it has already been 7 weeks!  7 weeks of sleepless nights and nervous days, constantly wondering if I am doing something wrong and potentially scaring my child for life or maybe just maybe doing something right. 

There are so many ups and downs, screaming and singing, smiling and crying; Kind of like I'm trapped in a bipolar musical. And just when I think I have something figured out and for a moment the hills are alive with the sound of music, he goes all Rocky Horror on me.

I know I've only just begun on this journey called motherhood, but I can already say that it is the best and most difficult thing I have ever done.

7 Weeks

Sooo Sleepy

Sneering in my pouch

Tiny Bubbles

Bunny Ears

An all to familiar face...booo

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Remember a while back when Ryan suggested we move the elliptical machine into the nursery for motivation to loose the baby weight?  Well, after the baby was born I walked into the office and saw this...

So I guess he has changed his tune. 

Anyway, I have been wanting to work out since about 4 weeks postpartum, but haven't really found the time or the energy until yesterday when I MADE the time and pretended to have the energy.  

My question is this...Is it kind of pathetic that I could hardly complete the workout I used to do when I was 40 weeks pregnant and almost 30 pound heavier?  No?  I didn't think so.

Meanwhile, my legs were about to give out on me while doing lap number 468 around the house while bouncing and throwing in a few squats to get this kid to sleep.  Maybe that could be my cardio?  No?  I didn't think so either.

Monday, August 15, 2011

6 Weeks...3 days ago

Lately I have been reading over some baby care books when I have a moment or two.  So what I really mean is I have been scanning pages of what I think are books about babies but I'm not 100% sure.  So far each book has pointed out that my already fussy baby is going to hit his peak this week in what is called the six-week peak.  

"All babies are most fussy, cry the most, and are most wakeful at six weeks of age."

Unfortunately for me, the book speaks the truth

But damn, he is cute!

I caught a fish thiiiiis big!

Ah, Elusive Sleep

The most common bit of unsolicited advice that I received while pregnant was to sleep when the baby sleeps.  OK, fine.  I'm not that great of a sleeper but I know I'll be tired so it sounds good in theory.  I'll go ahead and jot that down in my notes right next to the bit about taking extra special care of myself and stockpiling Tucks pads.

Only there's a problem with the whole idea of sleep when the baby sleeps...You can't watch and make sure the baby is breathing if you are sleeping!! And let me tell you how many times it is drilled into your head when you are pregnant that when you have a newborn "back is best" SIDS this and SIDS that, and special monitors that tell you if you baby has stopped breathing, and articles that show up in my inbox about how to prevent my baby from suddenly dying in his sleep!  And you want me to sleep when he is asleep???

No problem, my newborn baby could suddenly and inexplicably die in his sleep but I'll just go ahead and relax, catch up on some zzz's.  Are you absolutely flippin' kidding me?  I still put my finger under my dogs nose to make sure he is breathing and he is going on 3 years of age!

I swear to god I'll be in this kids room when he is five, a small mirror hovering under his nose, just waiting for his breath to fog it up. And when he wakes up and looks at me like the crazy woman I am I'll just make out like I was on my way to the bathroom and got lost.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I'm Too Young to Feel This Old

6 weeks ago if you would have asked me how old I felt I would have replied 24.  For some reason 24 always sticks out as the age I want to be.  I have no idea why, it's not like it was a particularly good year, it just seems like a good age to be. 

Well, today I feel one hundred and fucking forty seven.  I know that I will sleep again someday, but in the mean time, if you are thinking of buying me a birthday gift, concelar would be useful. 

29 Years old today

The year that everyone will think I am lying about my age

I'll take two!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It's Crowded in the Rainforest

I put that play mat down and within 20 seconds Abner was like, "Hell yes I want to chew my bone in a Rainforest...with a baby!!!"

Monday, August 8, 2011

Shift Change

For the first few weeks of Caches' life, Abner took it upon himself to watch his every move and make sure he knew where he was at all times.  He also shot us dirty looks and/or ran to us every time Caches cried as though we were intentionally hurting him, laid underfoot ALL DAY causing a few tripping incidents and sat on the small part of my lap not taken up by Caches' body each time I nursed him. 

Basically he was an overly needy, royal pain in the ass...so nothing much new.

Slowly, over the course of the next few weeks, he became less worried that we were going to hurt his future playmate and started to give us a little space.  Unfortunately he also decided to boycott eating, pout and walk around with a depressed look on his face all day, his ears positioned in the "I'm in trouble aren't I?" pose.  I am pretty sure the reason was either doggy post pardom depression or him realizing that he wasn't the baby anymore.  Abner has grown accustomed to an obscene amount of attention and now he is only getting a slightly abnormal amount. I'm sure he will adjust, and yes, I do spend WAY too much time anthropomorphizing my pets, thanks for noticing.

Well, Caches must have received the memo that Abner was finally adjusting and starting to act "normal" again (if that is even possible) so he decided that it was his turn to be the high needs baby around here.  How fun for me!

Our days typically start, and definitely end with screaming sessions and during the day if he isn't eating or sleeping he is fussing.  He also insists that we hold him most of the time and of course we do.  He does have a few 15-20 minute periods each day of "happy time" and that is what keeps me going.  It's like seeing a comercial for ice cream 30 minutes into my workout.  It makes me keep on trucking because I know there is a reward waiting...like maybe a whole 30 minutes without crying so mommy can take a shower!

All this to say that because of my high needs children, I have a new talent; I can do almost anything one handed or with a baby balanced on my shoulder.  So far I can successfully prepare coffee and tea, fix a simple meal, eat said meal, do laundry, make the bed, straighten up the house, give attention to the needy dogs, clean up the bulimic cats vomit and take shots of vodka, I mean drink healthy amounts of water.

I'm considering opening a sideshow.  Come one, come all.  Watch the hairy legged, baggy eyed, dirty yoga pant wearing mom reheat her coffee for the 7th time this morning with a baby balanced on her shoulder all using just one hand!!!  I'm sure I'd get a few more onlookers than the bearded lady but nowhere near the traffic of wolfman.


Friday, August 5, 2011

5 Weeks


An early morning scream session

Hanging with aunt Brittany

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Good Morning


This is pretty much what I wake up to each morning.  Of course Lilly, Georgia and Ryan are usually also in the bed.  Do you think they make a bed bigger than California King for crazy people who let all their creatures cuddle?

Monday, August 1, 2011

Already A Liar

I JUST promised last week that I'd post a picture each week of Caches and I already missed the one month/4week shot on Friday.  How is it that something as simple as taking a photo, uploading it and posting it to a blog can suddenly be so effin' complicated!  If I have a moment to do it my brain forgets...it is really just a lose lose situation.  Oh well, at least I remembered to clean up the cat vomit within 2 hours of it happening today.

4 Weeks/One Month


Tummy Time...it lasts about 45 seconds and then he is pissed
Promise to post some decent quality pictures that aren't from my phone in the near future...if I remember.