Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Baby, It's Cold Outside

I don't know about you, but I have the hardest time determining what clothing is appropriate for Caches.  It seems like he would be cold all the time and I should dress him warm but apparently you shouldn't dress baby too warm because they can overheat.  His hands are pretty much freezing no matter what temperature it is outside so that is no help in determining his comfort level.  And just as a side, he likes to rub said freezing hands all over my warm back while nursing causing my body to jump and contort like I have ants in my pants.  Someday kid, you will get an ice cube down your shirt and I will laugh.

Well, I HATE being too hot and only kind of dislike being too cold so I tend to dress Caches on the lighter side.  You know, because I'm sure he feels exactly the same as I do about temperature.  I get a few dirty looks from moms who bundle their babies in 3 fuzzy blankets, a hat and a snow suit, but last time I checked we lived in central California, not Minnesota. 

So until he can talk, Caches will be dresses to my comfort level and if you have ever tried to hold a baby all bundled up and squirmy then you will understand why my comfort level is minimal clothes and maximum dirty looks. What, he has a hat on!!??

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

When You Have A Day That Only A Cupcake With Too Much Icing Will Cure

Only a short time ago I shared Abner's near death experience with anaphylaxis and guess what, he is STILL TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF!!!

Last Tuesday we were all sitting quietly on the couch when all of a sudden Abner jumped up and started walking around as if he were drunk, or having a seizure, or both.  He paced back and forth looking as though he was going to vomit, his sad little face contoured in pain.  I, of course, panic and think the IS in fact dying until I realize that it is more than likely his back.

Sure enough, after the original freak out, he started exhibiting classic symptoms of back pain.  We called our awesome vet who puts HIMSELF on call every night and he told us to give him a muscle relaxer and a pain pill and come in early the next morning. 

Of course all this is happening while the baby is screaming and won't sleep.  So I spent the night in the bedroom with Caches, worrying about Abner all night while Ryan camped out in the front room with the dogs probably worrying about me. 

The next morning they squeezed us in and no surprise, his back is worse.  The slipped disc is now compressing the spine causing some loss of sensation and sciatic like pain that shoots through his body like it does in humans.  Having had sciatica problems myself I feel for the poor guy.   It is really important that we keep him from jumping off of anything or the next step could be surgery.  We have already spent a small fortune on this dog, why not add thousands of dollars for surgery.

Well, he spent the entire day in the hospital for x-rays and the kind of drugs I wish they'd give me and is now slowing returning to his old self.  This means that he is an absolute basket case of energy that wants to jump on EVERYTHING and run around and burn out on the hardwood floors and play and bark and drive mama nuts. 

Making sure Abner isn't trying to kill himself is a full time job in and of itself.  Now add to that my kid who thinks sleeping is the worst idea EVER, my body who decided to give up and finally get a sinus infection and you have one hell of a day. 

Just this morning I was attempting to keep the baby asleep in my arms a little bit longer when Georgia decided to jump onto the bed causing Abner to attempt to follow.  I gave him the death stare and so instead of jumping he started barking.  Perfect.  Now the baby is stirring and the dog is barking and you guessed it, the cat is retching...and vomiting on my feet.  At this point I stopped, looked around and was like, fuck Kim Kardashian, where is MY reality show!!!

Abner, looking out the window

Monday, November 28, 2011

He's Still Got It

You know how sometimes you say something so witty that it surprises even you?  Yeah, I used to too.  That is until the baby ate my brain.  Fortunately Ryan still has half of his brain left and during Thanksgiving  dinner he pulled out a real gem.  

We were all gathered around the table, enjoying our meal and laughing (Scratch that, THEY were all enjoying their meals.  I was eating left over sweet potato chili and polenta from three nights ago, but I pout and complain digress)  when someone, and I don't even remember who, commented that I had lost all my baby weight.  I thanked them for the complement but because I can't just take a complement and keep my mouth shut, I had to add that I still have about seven pounds to lose and that maybe, just maybe my skirt was cutting off the circulation to my legs. 

Without missing a beat, my lovely husband chimes in, "It's OK babe, baby weight doesn't count, it's like highway miles."

Really!?  Highway miles!?

And I repeat...he's lucky he's cute.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.  Here are a few shots from the day

Caches and Oz, his manny 

 Uncle Nic and Aunt Brittany

 "I wish I was a little bit taller..."

Comparing who has more hair

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Give Thanks

Each day I try to set aside some time to reflect and give thanks.  Some days my attitude is pretty negative and remembering how fortunate I am helps put things in perspective.  Sure, there are days that I don't get around to it, and even days when I plain don't feel like doing it, but this time of year it seems almost impossible to forget.  The holiday season is in full swing and my favorite holiday of all, Thanksgiving, is today.

I love the time spent with family; the laughs, the food, the memories, and that there is little consumerism tied to this holiday.  Sure there is a lot of food advertisements and a few turkey decorations, but nothing like the bombardment of Christmas.  Today is about giving thanks, not gifts.  Being grateful for what you have, not what you want. and boy, do I have A LOT to be thankful for.

This year I have been blessed not only with a gorgeous baby boy, but with an entirely new outlook on life.  Looking into Caches' sparkling eyes, so full of wonderment and joy gives me a deeper appreciation for my family and a love for my husband so strong it overwhelms my heart. 

Today I am thankful for far too much to list so I will simply say this, "My cup runneth over."  And yes, I kinda wish it was with booze.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

To Do

I love lists.  Let me reiterate that, I LOVE LISTS.  I make lists for everything; The market, my day, shopping, household chores, you name it, I list it.  I think part of the reason I love to make lists is so that I can cross things off.  There is noting quite as satisfyingly as crossing things off of a list.  And when you get to cross off the LAST ITEM, pure bliss.  I even add things like "brush teeth" to my lists just for the satisfaction of crossing them off.  Or maybe it is because I can't even remember my own name these days, but I digress.

Pre-baby, my lists were ambitious and usually complete by the days end.  They looked a little something like this.  Walk dogs, laundry, iron, vacuum, steam mop, market, make dinner, work out, call so and so, email so and so, blog. 

Now my lists look like this.  Walk dogs, brush teeth, keep the baby from crying all day. 

Today my list looks like this.  1) Drink coffee 2) Resist selling the baby at Wal Mart. Seriously, that is illegal. 3) No Anne,  you can't sell the baby at Costco either 4) Possibly brush teeth

Some days it's just about keeping your head above water. 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Chit Chat

Caches has become rather chatty lately

It is so fun to listen to him discovering his voice 

Sounds kinda like this...


Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Day I Ran Away.

If you have read my blog or seen my hagged face lately, you know that the past few months have been a bit rough.  When I found out I was pregnant I in no way thought it was going to be easy.  I knew I was in for a life changing experience.  I expected to miss out on activities, loose sleep and rearrange everything about my daily life, but I NEVER, even in my wildest dreams expected to have Rosemary's Baby!

I swear if his head spins and he spews peas I'M OUT OF HERE!

As of late, things have calmed down around here, at least during the day, but for a while there were a few pockets of time each day when Caches would SCREAM like someone was pulling off his toenails one by one for hours straight.  NO breaks, NO chance of soothing him, just screaming!!  And though your heart breaks a little bit every time you hear your baby cry, there is a part of me that became a bit hardened to sound.  You just can't listen to something so awful, so often and not start to tune it out.  It is SURVIVAL!

Anyway, it had been a particularly difficult day and I had just spent 45 minutes getting Caches down for a nap only to have him wake up 13 minutes later, you guessed it, screaming.  I went into the bedroom to pick him up hoping he would stop but he is no quitter.  All of a sudden a wave of massive anxiety came over my body and I HAD to get away.  It was not an option.

I handed Ryan the baby and told him that I was leaving, RIGHT NOW.  When he asked why I completely lost it and yelled through tears that I could not listen to the screaming for even one more fucking second.  By this time I was already rifling through my diaper bag looking for my wallet and keys.  Ryan asked me not to drive but I ignored him.  "Where are you going?" he asked me, and because I needed to, but hadn't gotten around to depositing a check I had, I told him that I was going to the bank!  Whoa, slow down rebel, the bank? Yes, I ran away to run an errand.  I may be crazy but I am efficient.

Ignoring Ryan's request not to dive I left the house with salty cheeks and drove away.  I could still hear the screaming echoing in my ears as the house shrunk in my rear view mirror and I pleaded with my body to make it stop.  I just needed one minute, make that ONE SECOND of complete silence.

Well, the bank only took about 5 minutes and I was still not ready to come home so I parked out in front of my house and cried.  Tears of frustration and doubt, of sadness and love poured from my eyes and with them fell anxiety and fear until my face was soaked in emotion.  That's the thing about crying.  Sometimes you NEED to cry.  Did you know that your tears actually contain hormones and when you have an excess your body cries to get it out?  Human body, you are amazing!

Once I felt I could, I got out of my car and headed for the door.  I held my breath as I turned the key, praying that I would walk into a peaceful home.  And there, in the kitchen, stood Ryan and Caches dancing to a song on the radio.  My heart was so full of love that I thought I was going to cry again but I couldn't, I didn't need to, and so I smiled.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Simple Things

Like watching the rain

When you have a baby 

you realize how jaded you yourself have become

Everything old is new again 

And watching him mesmerized by the rain 

makes me remember how beautiful it is

Monday, November 14, 2011

Brain Check, Aisle 3

It is a rarity that I leave the house without my side kick but when I do, I FREAKING LOVE IT.  And I don't even feel guilty saying that.  Me, the guilt queen, NO GUILT.  It is like heaven in the car with no screaming and music, not white noise on the radio.  Then, when I get to my destination I have not one, but two whole hands and almost 25% of a brain to accomplish my errands.

So you can imagine my delight when a few weeks ago I got to go the market ALONE.  I gathered my shopping bags and was out of the house so fast I don't even remember leaving.  Once at the market I filled my cart and headed to check out in record time.  Ahh, I am nice...wait, NO where is my wallet?  Please don't tell me...I was doing so good...Shit, that 25% of a brain really let me down this time.

Yeah, since eliminating my purse for a diaper bag that I don't bring with me when I'm sans baby I tend to forget that minor detail.  I'm kinda like that friend that everyone has one of.  You know, the one that is always short on cash or "forgets" their wallet.  Well, not only was I that friend, I was also on a limited amount of time and didn't want to put everything back, drive home, and start all over but I couldn't exactly call Ryan to come help me.  AHH!  What's a lost mom to do?

Call her mom!!

I dialed my mom and the moment she answered I couldn't stop laughing as I explained my plight.  I told her I was at the market and SHE GUESSED THAT I FORGOT MY WALLET.  You guys, my mom can read my mind.  I explained to her that I was just so excited to leave the house that I didn't even think to grab a wallet!  Luckily she wasn't busy and drove immediately to the market and bailed my tired ass out. 

It reminded me that no matter how old I am, even as a mom myself, I still need my mom sometimes.  And someday, 20 some odd years from now, I hope Caches calls me to bail his ass out too.  Not from jail though.  He'll have to find some other sucker for that.

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Favorite

Hundreds of pictures have been snapped in the past 4 months.  

This is one of my favorites

Thursday, November 10, 2011

It's Oh So Quiet...

NOT.  I never realized how loud my house was until I had a baby.   And of course I would have one of the most sensitive sleepers EVER!  I have no idea where he gets it from ME.  You know how a lot of babies sleep soundly in the car seat while their parents shop in Target?  Not mine.  Every creak in the floor, every knee or knuckle crack sounds like an alarm to him.  I take a deep breathe while holding him and he startles.  And don't even get me started on DOG TOENAILS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOORS.

Why is it that the second the kid falls asleep Lilly and Abner feel the need to do laps.  TICK TICK TICK all the way down the hall.  Oh, is the baby sleeping?  Cool, let me flap my ears or snort really loudly before I TICK TICK TICK back down the hall!!  I swear I'm giving Lilly an ear bra and cutting OFF Abner's toenails for Christmas. 

When the baby falls asleep and I morph into a ninja.  First I have to ninja creep out of the room careful not to let my ankles crack as I slip away.  Then there is the S L O W turn of the door knob all the while holding my breath.  Once in the hall I take a deep breath to avoid passing out and rush to the video monitor where I proceed to watch him sleep like it's my job.  As if my watching his every move makes him stay asleep longer.  Inhale, exhale...inhale exhale.  Oh no, he's moving!!!  No, baby, NO!  NOBODY BREATHE!!!

And this is on days when Ryan is not home.  When he is home it adds a whole other dimension to the mix.  For whatever reason my sweet husband who has many gifts, was not blessed with he ability to be quiet.  He cannot speak quietly, walk quietly, sneeze quietly...he can't do ANYTHING quietly.  He also can't quite understand why I go all psycho killer dirty look on him when he makes noise.  It goes something like this. Me: Really??? You're going to eat potato chips??? Couldn't you have chosen a quieter food??  The baby is sleeping.  Him: Really??? Just when I thought you couldn't get any crazier YOU DO!!  Me: Fine but I swear if your chewing wakes that kid up I'm banishing chips from this house!!  Him: CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUMPLE THE BAG!!!

I have a feeling this ninja dance is going to go on for the next, oh 4 years or so.  I should probably invest in a sweet mask and a sword.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Of Course THIS Would Happen

I'm not sure if I ever wrote about it here, but when Abner was a baby he went into anaphylactic shock after receiving his puppy shots.  Thank goodness we were just down the street from the vet when I noticed that he didn't look quite right and ran back in where they were able to save his life.  Because of this, from now on when Abner gets shots he has to be both pre and post medicated and stay at the vet for a few hours of observation.  Can you say HIGH NEEDS...

Anyway, we are extremely careful with him and had never had a problem with his allergies until a few weeks ago.  On Saturday morning, after his morning pee, I noticed that his face looked a bit swollen.  I figured he got into something and gave him a Benadryl.  A few hours later the swelling was gone and he was fine...until Sunday morning when he was covered in HIVES!!

Assuming he was getting into something in the yard, Ryan and I scoured every inch trying to find what could possible be giving him a reaction.  It could have been a spider or a bee, but to be stung or bitten two days in a row seems far fetched...even for Abner.  Another dose of Benedryl and he was smooth again...Until Monday

Monday morning I noticed what looked like one large hive on his bottom. I kept a close eye on him and within an hour he was covered.  Not knowing what was causing the hives I decided to call the vet and bring him in.  At this point I was totally calm, then his breathing became labored.  I freaked out and called my mom who rushed over to take Abner in while I stayed home with Whiny Baby Crier Caches.

My mom arrived home about a half hour later with NO DOG!!  She explained that he was in full blown alaphylactic shock and we literally got him to the vet just in time.  10 more minutes and he probably would have died from his throat closing!  WHAT!!!??


I thought he just had a few hives.  NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think he was dying!!!  According to the vet, he was probably stung by a bee or bitten by a spider on Saturday when I noticed the initial swelling.  The Benadryl simply kept the reaction under control, but it kept reoccurring over and over getting worse each time.  I had no idea this could even happen!!

The vet kept him under close observation all day Monday and by late afternoon I picked up a very happy, doped up pup.  We now have the equivalent of a doggy epi pen, in pill form.  We have to keep pills with him at all times and if he is ever stung or breaks out in hives again we are to give him two pills and RUSH to the closest vet.  Just want I need.  One more thing the worry about. 

At least he doesn't seem to be upset about it.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Lightbulb Moments

A while back, before Caches was born, I was scanning the TV guide and saw that Wheel of Fortune was on.  For some reason I hit the info button and the info stated that this was a game show based on the classic game of hangman.

What??  Are you serious?? Why did this NEVER occur to me??  I love Wheel of Fortune but I had never, until this point, put two and two together that it WAS hangman!!!  I thought this was a breakthrough, that nobody else knew this.  I felt like Charlie with a golden ticket running home to share the news with my family!!

"Ryan...did you know that Wheel of Fortune is based off of hangman???"

He gave me the look.  The look that says I'm sorry you are so dumb babe.  I'm going to just go ahead and keep my mouth shut because my mom told me if I didn't have anything nice to say not to say anything at all.

"Did you know this?  I just realized it after reading the info about the show!!"

"Um, yeah.  I think you are about the only one that didn't know this."

"Oh...I miss my brain..."

Did anyone else not know this?  Just me?  Thought so...happy Monday

Friday, November 4, 2011

Picture Friday

Remember picture Friday in school when class by class you were shuffled into the gym, lined up and one by one a photographer snapped your individual photo and a class shot?  And then there was the picture "form" that you had to bring home and fill out before picture day.  Your parents had to choose how much they loved you many pictures they actually wanted to purchase of you sitting in front of some banal backdrop with a half assed smile on your face.  How many wallets should I order? many people do I know that want to carry around a picture of my awkward 3ed grader in their wallet?  Make that ZERO...I mean, 25...yes sweetie, I'll pass out all 25.

Then, 10 years later while going through your belongings before heading off to college you find 150 wallet sized photos documenting your killer fashion sense through the 80's shoved in some drawer because guess what, nobody wants them.  I'm sure my mom, like yours, checked a few boxes to make you feel loved and then let out a big sigh because the last thing she needed was MORE pictures of her kid.  Or maybe your parents actually liked the school pictures and had them chronologically displayed in a custom frame in the hallway. 

I, like my mother, am not a big fan of posed pictures of people on the walls.  We have one wedding photo displayed, but even that seems kind of strange.  Why is there a picture of me in my house? I know what I look like and thanks to the baby it is that, plus about 10 pounds around the middle!  I am much more excited about candid, emotional photos of babies in the bathtub, dogs in the grass and pictures where you can't see my face!  But I'm sure when Caches brings home the "class picture form" I'll check a few boxes, force people to take pass out wallet sized shots and remind him to bring a comb. Because if he has Nessier hair, he's going to need one.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Point of View

When Caches is fussy sometimes he calms down when we go outside.  I think the fresh air and change of scenery kind of distract him.  I decided to bring a blanket outside and see if he'd like to lay down under the olive tree and have a chat.

Of course within 30 seconds the cat was at my side chirping and rubbing for attention.  We pet her for a while and then she jumped up the tree and perched above us.  I'm not going to lie, I felt kind of weird having her hovering above my head in the tree like she was planning some sort of attack.  What if she pooped?  I know she's not a bird, but stranger things have happened.

Here was our view...

 Looking up...

Looking down...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Rules Were Made to be Broken?

I am a rule follower.  The extreme kind of rule follower that even hates when other people break rules.  The kind that in fact LOVES rules! I want to know exactly what is expected of me at ALL times.  That way I have less of a chance of letting anyone down or getting in trouble.  I am terrified of getting in trouble.  Maybe it's because I am the worst liar EVER and would hate to have to make up an excuse or maybe it is because I have anxiety and will do anything to avoid confrontation. Whatever the reason, I follow rules...OK, maybe I speed just a little but that's more of a guideline. 

At the supermarket if I put crackers in my basket and decide I don't want said crackers I walk my happy ass BACK TO THE CRACKER aisle and put them back where they belong!! A concept I wish others would catch onto.  I don't want to buy ice cream and realize it's all pre-melted and icky because some asshole put it in the cereal aisle when they changed their mind.   Now, I'm not trying to sound all high and mighty, I kind of wish I could break the rules sometimes, but I just can't.

Because of my love of rules I even make up rules for myself that don't actually exist.  One of them being to keep the counters clean and clear of crumbs at all times.  At least 10 times a day I run my hand over the kitchen counter to check and make sure it is smooth.  Where am I going with this?  A few weeks ago Ryan and I were enjoying some potato chips in the kitchen when he handed me the bag of "just crumbs" and asked if I'd throw it away.  Well, I happen to like the crumbs at the bottom of the chip bag so I dove my grubby little hand in there.

"Why don't you just dump the bag out on the counter, babe?"

"I can't, it would make a mess."

"You can't or you won't"


"Oh, just do it...break the rules."

I thought about it for a moment, and becaue my idea of fun these days is a glass of sparkling juice, I decided to go for it and dumped all the crumbs on the counter.

"I feel like such a rebel!!"

"Wow, you really are pathetic."

"I know, but damn it felt good to break a rule."

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Happy Halloween

Our first Halloween was a success.  And by success I mean his costume kind of worked, he kind of enjoyed trick or treating...all 3 houses, and we made it to bed by 7 with only a few meltdowns. 

 I think the Black Widow costume was fitting as he is STILL trying to kill me...I was his web.  True in so many ways...

 On Sunday we carved pumpkins!  Caches was kind of interested, but not really...

 Abner on the other hand was PUMPED as usual and very, very helpful

 Ryan's pumpkin was a drooling cry baby...can you guess his inspiration?

Some Creep!

Family Fun

I am already looking forward to next year when Caches will be a bit more fun and possibly enjoy the carving, dressing up, decorations, etc.  If not, at least we have the dog!