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Showing posts from October, 2013

A rant of sorts

If you are not in the mood to hear me rant and rave and perhaps go off on random tangents that don't make much sense, then stop reading.  If you stick around, open a window, I'm going to vent.

It all started about a month ago when I broke a glass jar of almond butter.  Shards of glass went flying everywhere and of course, the toddler and the dogs were like awesome, let's go get bloody!!  Dogs outside and toddler quarantined, my mom and I began to clean up the mess.  As we were cleaning she casually mentioned how broken glass is so rare these days, when she was a kid someone was always breaking and/or cleaning up glass.

For some reason this really struck me and my ever musing brain went on a journey through the past 100+ years and then to modern life.  I thought about how different society is today, and how much it will continue to change, I had good thoughts about advances in technology, education, and medicine, but my brain just kept coming back to how much of what is to…

Beautiful, elusive, sleep

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I haven't slept in over two years, seriously.  I know you must be thinking, Anne, it is impossible that you haven't slept, you would have died or become insane by now.  Oh, you mean I forgot to mention that I have evolved into a non sleep needing human who survives solely on on caffeine, sarcasm and lack of functioning brain cells?  Well I did.  It took about 15 months for my body to complete the transformation, but I am now a real live non sleep needing human.

Now, I didn't say I am a non sleep wanting human!

I do want to sleep.  I want to sleep so bad that I think about it all the time.  I think about sleeping all day and then at night when I should be sleeping I think about it still.  I count the minutes I am awake, the precious moments that everyone else is asleep and I actually could be too!!!  I curse my dogs for sleeping all day long, so peaceful and care free as they rotate from the sunny porch to the shady side of the house.  Sometimes I purposefully wake them up…

Thinking about that fresh baby smell

It is October now, and if things had panned out differently I would be holding a newborn baby as I type.  Inhaling the sweet aroma of baby as my fingers clicked the keys, and pausing to kiss the impossibly soft head of my child.  I have healed and accepted the loss of that baby, but I will never forget all of the could have beens that make me sigh deeply.  Mostly I am at peace and do not question the universe, but there have been times over the past seven months when I find myself wishing things were different.  I'd see a radiant pregnant woman with a belly full of life and for a moment I'd think, "that should be me."  But it shouldn't, and it isn't.  If it were meant to be it would have been.  I truly believe that.

This past month has been kind of a rough transition time for Caches.  He is growing and changing exponentially and all of the newness is taking it's toll on my sensitive blue eyed boy.  He is wakeful and restless, skipping much needed naps an…

Two loaded little words

There are a few phrases that I make a conscious effort not to say to Cache.  Okay, I lied, there are actually a TON of them, but most of them are totally inappropriate anyway, so I just let those fly on the trapeze in my circus of a head.  One of the phrases though, that seems to want to roll of my tongue about 3829 times a day, is "hurry up!" Or, "come on!"

Anyone who has ever hung out with a toddler knows one thing for sure, they are on their own time schedule.  No, they are in their own universe!  They don't just stop to smell the roses, they stop to admire the cigarette butts in the gutter, the bark on the trees, the flies on the grass, the bees on the lavender, the trucks driving by, the sound of a distant train, the kitty in the window, the open garbage can lid, the dirt in the sidewalk crack, the rollie pollies, the garbage, and the list goes on.  Seriously, we aren't even at the end of the block yet!

Toddlers take forever to eat, examining and expl…