Showing posts from June, 2013

Won't you be my neighbor

Our poor, sweet neighbors and the one sided conversations that they are subjected to at 6:00 am on a Sunday. 

"No feet on the dogs, Caches."

"Caches, please don't lay on top of Abner."

"Gentle with doggies eyes."

"Lilly doesn't like fingers in her nose."

"We aren't going to play with your bouncy balls in the car right now." Cue meltdown

"Can mama please just have a sip of coffee, then she will help you pick up poop."

"Yes, poo poo!  Let's pick it up! We don't touch poo poo.  Cache, that's a no touch!  Hey, please don't touch poo poo.  Seriously!? I'm getting the scooper right now! NO! Not with your feet either!  CACHE! Come on!"

Cat shows up.  "Please don't chase the kitty.  Just let her go where she wants.   She doesn't like her tail pulled."

"Yes, a snail.  Gentle touch, just with your little finger."

"Can you please pull your pants back up."

Toddler problems

At breakfast...

"Are you all done with your peach, Cache?"


I walk over to the trash can and drop in the remaining pieces from his plate into the bin.


"What's wrong?"

Now running to the bin with such enthusiasm that you'd think I'd thrown away his very soul.

"Oh, you weren't all done with your peach?"

"NO!" As he is opening up the trash trying to dig out the juicy pieces mixed with coffee grounds and god knows what else.

"Cache,  I will get you a new peach.  Once something is in the trash, it stays in the trash."  A statement I make at least 8 times a day.

"I need dat, I neeeed dat!"  And he cries as he continues to try to dig the peach out.

"We don't eat from the trash can (also said multiple times a day).  Mama will get you a new peach."

"NO!  I need dat, I need dat!"  With the saddest cry EVER!

"Okay baby, you go sit at the table and mama…

A monster inside

He quickly stopped crying and looked up at me, eyes full of tears that had not yet fallen on his perfect pink cheeks; he was terrified.  This was not the mama he knew to be gentle and kind.  Always there for him when he was hurt or sad, no, he didn't know this mama very well, this mama was filled with rage.  He continued to search my face for the loving mama with whom he is familiar, and when he couldn't find her, tears began to stream down both our cheeks.

You won't find a chapter in any of your parenting books about this, you won't hear it discussed by mothers at the park on a sunny day while children giggle and play, you probably won't even talk about it to those closest to you, though you likely have experienced it a time or two.  It is a dirty secret of parenting, it is anger, it is real, it is raw, and it is scary!

Anger:  An emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged, or denied and a tendency to react through …

Video killed the radio star

Caches does not watch any television, nor does he play with any type of electronic device.  Of course he has seen the television on and he has looked at pictures on my phone many times, but no, he has never sat down and watched television, and he won't be doing so for a very long time.

At first I thought babies and toddlers not watching any television was fairly common, but apparently the cheese stands alone.  And the gasps, oh the gasps I have encountered when I tell people that he isn't allowed to watch television.  They almost out number the gasps I hear when I tell people that he STILL isn't sleeping through the night, almost.  Oh the horror!  This poor kid really is doomed isn't he.

Sarcasm aside, I really am shocked at the amount of television and other media that very young children are exposed to.  And I'm sorry if this offends you, no disclaimer this time, I just don't understand why kids are watching so much television!  Okay, that's a lie, I have…

A note of thanks

Just wanted to post a quick thank you to everyone who reached out to me upon hearing of my miscarriage.  I can't tell you how much the personal stories, the emails, the flowers, the chocolates, and the support meant, and will forever mean to me!  

This was an emotional journey like none I had ever experienced before, surprisingly emotional in fact, but I am at peace.  I know there is nothing that I or anybody else could have done to change the outcome, I truly believe our bodies know what they are doing.  I trust my body now more than ever. 

Just in case you are curious, and I know you are.  I have been doing weekly blood draws for 13 weeks now to follow my HCG levels down to zero and quite frankly, me and my shot up veins are over it.  Since reaching a level of 7 my numbers have dropped only one point per week, ONE!  So when I went in last week I was confident that it would be my last. 

Cue the lab calling to tell me that they lost my blood.  You wha!? How do you lose someones bl…