Showing posts from October, 2011

Pull Your Skirt Down...Your OCD is Showing

When I started this blog just over 2 years ago it was going to be a kind of update center for family and friends that lived afar.  A few pictures and sentiments and that's it.  Needless to say it has morphed quite a bit over those 2 years and I hope to keep it going and changing for many years to come.  I mean the material with dogs ALONE gave me countless posts and now that there is a kid in the mix...endless material!

I flatter myself to think that even one third of my 29 "followers" regularly read this blog, really I do.  But 29 followers... not 28, not 30, but 29?  That is where the OCD starts oozing from my pores.  Every single time I log on to write or update I see that number and my eye starts to twitch.  I have even considered making a false email account and following myself just to make a damn round number. 

So, if anyone out there in cyberspace reads this...even if it is only every once and a while, please,  do a crazy, sleep deprived, cut finger, limping, eye…

Is This Some Kind of Joke?

I am so tired that I don't even know how my fingers are tapping the keys right now.  Oh wait, they aren't!!  I have only typed one sentence and have already had to fix like 7 errors due to the fingers NOT working.  I also have a band aid on my middle finger from a blender incident, a wrap around my ankle from a falling off of the bouncy ball I spend 20 hours a day on incident, and the meanest set of raccoon eyes this side of Lindsay Lohan.

I am literally falling apart; my body is shutting down.  At first my body was like OK, cool, I like a challenge.  But now it's like fuck you crazy lady, I'm out.  White flag waving from its one good arm, hobbling down the hall like Quasimodo as I run after it begging it to bounce just one more time so the kid stops screaming.

It is torture.

Did you know that a person can actually die from lack of sleep and/or from their sleep being repeatedly interrupted never allowing deep sleep to set in?  DIE...DEAD...DONE!! Rats have actually b…


The other morning I was attempting a word search on the back of my cereal box when Ryan came into the kitchen

"What are you doing?"

"A word search"

"Cool, I'm good at word searches"

"So am I.  And don't help, it's my therapy right now"

I feel him peeking over my shoulder and I sense that he has found a word that I'm looking for

"I said don't help"

"I'm not going to...I'm good at crossword puzzles too"

"Yeah, so am I.  If I know the answers to the questions"

"Um, yeah, that is kind of the whole idea.  If you know the answers then all it is is filling in letters"

"Well then I'm good at filling in the letters"

"I found one of your words..."

"Fuck off"

The love in this house first thing in the morning is so sweet

16 Weeks

4 months old

I have decided that it is time to stop the weekly picture and do more of a monthly newsletter.  Not only because he is changing less drastically each week, but because there is nothing more annoying than asking someone how old their baby is and getting the reply, 27 weeks. 
Caches Michael,
Today, well, two days ago, you turned four months old.  Why two days late, mama?  Because you are still proving to be one of the most difficult human beings on the planet.  You don't like me to get any housework or errands done and think that the world revolves around you, and quite frankly, you are correct.  You are a tiny tornado.  A passionate, spirited individual who knows what you what when you want it and damn it we better deliver.  
You already are showing us your personality and maybe, just maybe, your sense of humor.  You have absolutely no patience or state control and go from happy bubbly baby to Freddy Crouger in a matter of 3 seconds.  Fortunately you are also starting to…


Ryan fractured his foot and was supposed to keep off of it for at least a week and then take it easy for 4-6 weeks.

Looks like he's following Dr.'s orders

After snapping these incriminating photos I reminded Ryan that he wouldn't even let me walk around Target when I had a broken vagina but he thought it was appropriate to climb the fence and trim our tree with a broken foot?  Not smart buddy. 

*This happened like 2 months ago so don't send Ryan a get well soon card

Part Deux

*You can read part one here

We left off with me wanting desperately to fix my poor kid, and fix him I tried!!  I tried EVERYTHING!  Different feeding positions, different feeding techniques.  Gas drops, gripe water, chewing prunes 50 times, the swing, the happiest baby on the block book,  EVERY possible book!! Inside, outside, google fussy baby, google screaming baby, google I WANT TO DIE, BABY WON'T STOP SCREAMING, stand on my fucking head and clap my feet, but nothing seemed to help.  I gave up dairy, soy, peanuts and gluten.  Shit I even went on a total elimination diet and ate nothing but rice, squash, apples, pears, potatoes and chicken for 10 days.  Yes, you read that right, I ate CHICKEN for the first time in over 13 years and no, I did not like it thankyouverymuch. 

As you can imagine, after each failure I felt more and more like one myself.  I was incredibly discouraged and found myself wanting to cry all day long with the baby and there were days I did. 

I know I am r…

15 Weeks

I'm getting SOOO big
 I'm holding my head up and looking all around...
 But my head is pretty heavy
Face plant!!

Brace Face

A few evenings ago, Caches let me put him down for a few minutes so I ventured out of my cave into the front room to hang out with Ryan. We were catching up on the events if the day when he pauses and looks at me a bit sideways

"Are you wearing your retainers?"

"No, why?"

"Because you are slurring your words like crazy!"

"I'M TIRED!!!!"

"Well you sound drunk"

"I wish I was!!"

So, I'm a Liar


I know I promised that I'd write on Sunday, but somehow Sunday has turned into Wednesday and yet another task I promised myself I'd complete was left undone.

If you are a friend of mine, or even an online follower, you may be asking yourself where the hell did she go?  Or maybe you don't care or maybe you didn't even notice that I dropped off the face of the real world for a few months, but just in case you do care...I'm alive, well kind of. 

I REALLY wanted to chronicle my struggle with Caches as it was happening day by day, but days turned into weeks turned into months turned into October....what?  It is OCTOBER??? We had a Summer?  September happened this year??  TARGET STILL EXISTS??? HOLY SHIT!!!   

I am going to go back to the beginning and in a few different parts catch you up to where we currently stand.  So, now that we have established that I am kind of alive and will only kind of make sense, here we go. 

Act 1:

The first 6 weeks of Caches lif…

Smells Like Fall

Fall is among us...the trees are washed in color and there is a nip in the air;  I LOVE this season.  Not only does in contain both Halloween and Thanksgiving, but it gives me an excuse to eat PUMPKIN EVERYTHING!!  Pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin smoothies, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin curry, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin till your skin turns orange!! 

This year all of the above recipes will need to be modified to gluten, soy and dairy free in order to accommodate my sidekicks tummy troubles, but I'm up for the challenge. 

Today we went to the pumpkin patch and collected a few decorative pumpkins and of course a few carving pumpkins.  Wonder what I'll carve this year...a bed?  A nice cozy bed that all I want to do is crawl into and sleep for one hundred eighty years!!! are a few pictures of our day.  Ryan promises to be on baby duty tomorrow so guess what...I'm actually going to WRITE!!  Yep, a real, live post...with words and perhaps, just perhaps coherent thou…

14 Weeks and a Tiny Update

This is the first time I have even touched the computer since last week when I posted a pathetic 2 lines and a picture.  I truly miss blogging and PROMISE I will be back at it soon.  My first post will likely explain where I have been and why I stopped posting. 


I have a list on my phone about 30 pages long of things I'd like to post about so when I get back to it there will be some catching up to do.  I hope there are still a few of you that keep checking back and haven't given up on me. 

98 Days