Klean n' Shine


Anyone who has met me knows that little things like smashed pillows on the sofa, crumbs on the counter, water spots on the faucet fixtures, crooked picture frames and dust bunnies don’t bother me at all. So what I am about to tell you may shock you.
I few days ago ran out of crack, I mean Klean n’ Shine, a cleaning product from the 70’s that is so toxic it foams at the mouth but I can not stop using it because it cleans EVERYTHING and doesn’t streak and F you planet, I do a lot for you already, I LOVE KLEAN N’ SHINE. Anyway, I felt the can getting low and made a note to pick up a new can or 10 at the only remaining retailer brave enough to carry this cleaner, Star Market. I grab my cloth bags, see, I told you planet, and head for the market. I make my way directly to the cleaning aisle and scan the usual area only to find that there is no Klean n’ Shine. I try to remain calm but when I see that there isn’t even an empty spot where it is supposed to be, or a tag marking its old spot I begin to panic. I find an employee and he informs me that they no longer carry Klean n’ Shine and apologizes for the inconvenience. Inconvenience doesn’t even begin to describe it buddy, don’t you know I HAVE FAUCETS THAT NEED POLISHING! The worst part, I probably walked that aisle for 5 minutes after he left, searching for a can that was left behind.
Once I gained my composure, I went to the only other person I knew would have a can, my mother. You see, she is the reason for my addiction; she is the one who introduced me to the drug and used to have me run my hand across a countertop so smooth you could see yourself in it. She is also the same one who reminds me every time she sees me use Klean n’ Shine that you really shouldn’t use it on the floors. A person could fall and hurt themselves don’t you know. She knows from experience. She is also the one who, when they stopped carrying Klean n’ Shine at most retailers, ordered an entire box online to put in her bomb shelter along with clear sodas, non-prescription reading glasses and hair dryers.
I kind of danced around the question at first, knowing she does not part with a can of Klean n’ Shine easily. I have been turned down before, but I think she noticed the look of panic in my eyes. She generously offered to give me one can from her stash but pointed out that I would have to order my own 50 count box in the future. But don’t worry, she gave me the website address.

Comments

  1. Haha , I'm at this lady home who is 95 years young . I was searching for glass cleaner and found a can .... The Angel's themselves came out as I sprayed this cleaner ... I tried Amazon as they have everything Expect a good husband in stock or this product..

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  2. i went to buy some of this product - no luck - so sad as it was good stuff

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  4. I am crying at this moment hearing about this!!! NO LONGER MAKING KLEAN & SHINE???? My heart fell to the floor reading this!! I have Formica furniture and this is the ONLY PRODUCT that made my bedroom furniture shine!! I found out that my husband was using it; without me knowing, to shine his golf clubs and when he used my last can, deliberately didn’t tell me because he KNEW my stash was sacred!! I’m so upset and don’t know what to use now?? My furniture will NEVER SHINE the same!!
    PLEASE.....BRING THIS BACK!!

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  5. Best product ever for the plastic windows on my jeep. Discovered this can in my moms house...she passed 10+years ago. Went to by a can for future use, NOT available...why?

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  6. I started using Klean & Shine when it first came out and sure wish I'd stockpiled some!! Best all-purpose cleaner ever! I've been wondering why I hadn't seen it in stores for a "while." Not sure what I'm going to use on my kitchen now .... ;,-(

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  7. I am so sad that I can't find this cleaner. It is the best thing ever! My windows will never again look clean enough for me without it. Please please please bring it back!!!

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  8. Where is this! The best cleaner! Make it again please

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  9. PLEASE make Klean n Shine available for consumer purchase again. I used this product in the 70’s until it was no longer available. It was, by far, the BEST multi use product made. Please BRING IT BACK!!!

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