Failures
You know how when something new and exciting happens and you all of a sudden have all these grand ideas of how it is going to be and how you are going to act, think and do? This happened when I got engaged and again at the beginning of pregnancy. I was sure in both cases that I would become some sort of super woman, healthy woman or at least gain some sort of magical power...organization woman?
Well, I didn't...either time. In fact I have already failed epically and thought it would be fun to look at some of my failures as a mother who isn't even yet a mother. I'm sure MANY more will be added to this list as time goes by.
-Keeping a pregnancy/baby journal.
I did it for like 2 months and then realized that all I was doing was saying the exact same shit in different ways over and over. You can only describe your fear or miscarriage and stretch marks in so many ways before it becomes a real drag. Last journal entry was from November=fail
-Only eating food that is healthy for both me and the baby...I am a sacred vessel!
Um, this one lasted for about 5 minutes and then I wanted a cookie. I will say that overall my diet is not and has never been too bad but if this kid comes out refusing breast milk and asking for a milkshake I wouldn't be entirely surprised=fail.
-Not listening to everyone's well meant advice or opinions.
When Ryan and I got engaged the amount of unsolicited advice that came my way was astounding! I never knew people were such marriage/relationship experts. Now, there were a few golden tidbits in there, but for the most part it was a lot of negative bullshit.
The same thing happened when people found out I was pregnant. I try not to listen or let it bother me, but when you hear the same thing over and over it is hard to get it out of your head. This especially goes for everyone thinking that my birth experience is going to be the same as theirs. Oh, you haven't had a contraction, you are going to be late. You are wearing blue today, me too and I labored for 30 hours and had to have a c-section with my first. Don't do this, you HAVE to do this, your baby will never use that, my baby HATED that. For fucks sake people you figured it out I'm sure we can too. Not letting others opinions/advice bother me=fail.
-Having everything done before 37 weeks:
Most of everything was done, but I often find myself looking at my to-do list now, at almost 39 weeks and crossing things off that have not been completed because I realize that they really aren't important and/or I'm not going to do it anyway so why have it there mocking me. I doubt the baby is going to stop mid diaper change and be like um, mom, the windows are totally spotty and that screen is FILTHY! Oh shut up kid, I had "clean windows" on my to-do list before you were even conceived. Not even your arrival could motivate me to do windows! I also add things like "walk dogs" to the list just for the satisfaction of crossing something off. Brittany, you know how it goes. So, still having a to-do list mocking me=fail.
Like I said before, I'm sure I will fail many times a day and eat my words for breakfast, lunch and dinner once this baby arrives but hey, it is a learning experience. How am I going to offer MY unsolicited advice to everyone without a little bit of my own trail and error. Baby, you are going to be a human science experiment and I'm sure you'll win first prize.
Well, I didn't...either time. In fact I have already failed epically and thought it would be fun to look at some of my failures as a mother who isn't even yet a mother. I'm sure MANY more will be added to this list as time goes by.
-Keeping a pregnancy/baby journal.
I did it for like 2 months and then realized that all I was doing was saying the exact same shit in different ways over and over. You can only describe your fear or miscarriage and stretch marks in so many ways before it becomes a real drag. Last journal entry was from November=fail
-Only eating food that is healthy for both me and the baby...I am a sacred vessel!
Um, this one lasted for about 5 minutes and then I wanted a cookie. I will say that overall my diet is not and has never been too bad but if this kid comes out refusing breast milk and asking for a milkshake I wouldn't be entirely surprised=fail.
-Not listening to everyone's well meant advice or opinions.
When Ryan and I got engaged the amount of unsolicited advice that came my way was astounding! I never knew people were such marriage/relationship experts. Now, there were a few golden tidbits in there, but for the most part it was a lot of negative bullshit.
The same thing happened when people found out I was pregnant. I try not to listen or let it bother me, but when you hear the same thing over and over it is hard to get it out of your head. This especially goes for everyone thinking that my birth experience is going to be the same as theirs. Oh, you haven't had a contraction, you are going to be late. You are wearing blue today, me too and I labored for 30 hours and had to have a c-section with my first. Don't do this, you HAVE to do this, your baby will never use that, my baby HATED that. For fucks sake people you figured it out I'm sure we can too. Not letting others opinions/advice bother me=fail.
-Having everything done before 37 weeks:
Most of everything was done, but I often find myself looking at my to-do list now, at almost 39 weeks and crossing things off that have not been completed because I realize that they really aren't important and/or I'm not going to do it anyway so why have it there mocking me. I doubt the baby is going to stop mid diaper change and be like um, mom, the windows are totally spotty and that screen is FILTHY! Oh shut up kid, I had "clean windows" on my to-do list before you were even conceived. Not even your arrival could motivate me to do windows! I also add things like "walk dogs" to the list just for the satisfaction of crossing something off. Brittany, you know how it goes. So, still having a to-do list mocking me=fail.
Like I said before, I'm sure I will fail many times a day and eat my words for breakfast, lunch and dinner once this baby arrives but hey, it is a learning experience. How am I going to offer MY unsolicited advice to everyone without a little bit of my own trail and error. Baby, you are going to be a human science experiment and I'm sure you'll win first prize.
do i ever. just think, you'll get to check off the biggest box known to womankind (and soon!)- having a baby!
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