Wanderlust
The weather has been shifting between Winter and Spring lately and the need for change in present in both myself and my children. Every year around this time I get a deep desire to wander, to move furniture, to deep clean things that aren't even dirty, to purge the old and bask in the new. Every day I meander around the yard and observe the changes. Tiny leaves emerging from the trees, weeds poking up all around, camellias blooming. I count the blossoms on the fruit trees and notice that nearly all the citrus is gone. As I walk I am reminded of the variety of Spring bulbs that grace our yard with their different colors and smells. Flowers of Spring are quick to blossom and quick to wilt, but I wait anxiously for their show each year.
This is the time of year that I want to sell it all and move into a tiny house in the woods. To dig my hands into the cool soil and to feel the sun on my bare skin. I notice that Caches especially is feeling this Spring energy.
He spent the entirety of yesterday afternoon outside climbing trees, carving a walking stick with his pocket knife, eating a popsicle and doing who knows what else, I wasn't there. We came inside for dinner and the moment his plate was cleared he was back outside playing. Around six o'clock he and Arlowe were climbing in the tree house out back when it started to rain the most perfect gentle Spring rain. I watched from the kitchen as he stretched his arms out and soaked it up, my sweetest nature boy. A bit later I called out to them reminding them that it was bath time and to please come in. About ten minutes later he and Arlowe joined me int he bathroom and informed me that they didn't want to live in a house anymore. "It's all too much!" Caches exclaimed. "I don't need all of this. This house and electricity and a bed, all of these clothes! I just want to live alone in the jungle or the forest. I'll cut down a tree and build a house. I'll fish for my food and sleep in a tree."
He and Arlowe had apparently already planned it all out.
"Well, you should probably take a bath before you go then", I suggested. He wasn't having it. He folded his arms and looked away.
Eventually he got in the tub and continued to talk to me about how he was going to survive on his own, what he needed to pack and how often he would come home to visit. He'd miss me he said, but he just felt so strongly on the inside that he had to go. He mused about what I should tell his teacher about him not being there, how he would call me and how he would acquire an address in the woods.
After bath as I brushed his long blonde hair he told me that he was serious, and he was planning on leaving in the middle of the night. "You'd better pack now then," I told him. He got out his suitcase and dropped in some clothes with holes in them, a few pair of pajamas and some undies. He added his leather man, a pocket knife, matches, rope, dried fruit, nuts and a bottle of water. I asked him how he would get water once in the woods and he decided that he should also bring our big Berkey water filter. He zipped up the suitcase and placed his walking stick atop. "Don't be scared if you hear me leave in the middle of the night, okay."
Back in his room he explained to me that he felt like Moana, "you know how her heart just knew that she had to leave even though it was scary?" I told him I completely understood, the heart is a powerful force that shouldn't be ignored. This isn't the first time he has spoken of leaving his house for the woods, but this was the first time he packed. "I'm serious mama, I'm really going." "I know you are son." I assured him. In between yawns and darkness we spoke about how often he would visit, how he would get food and water and what his house might look like. "Just go up the the mountains and look for a cut down tree then you will see my house right behind it, okay. It will be camouflaged but you will find me. You can visit whenever you want and I'll just be there." He wondered how long it would take him to walk all the way up to the mountains and thought about stopping off at a nice persons house on his way to rest and maybe have some food.
It was getting late so I kissed his head and asked that he please sneak in a give me a kiss before he left. He agreed as he turned to his side and continued to think about his adventure. I know he was thinking about it carefully.
When the sun came up this morning and he called out to me from his room, I told him I was surprised to see his suitcase still there when I woke up. He explained that he was just getting a good nights rest before he left but that he was still leaving. I asked if he wanted breakfast first but he thought he'd just have some of his fruit leather on his way up the mountain. He put his shoes and coat on and told us he was leaving. He gave hugs and kisses and started to walk out the door. Arlowe crumbled into my lap and cried while Ryan and I told him how much we loved him and how we would miss him so much. He cracked open the door with his walking stick and asked Arlowe one last time if she wanted to come. When she didn't answer he walked out the door.
I heard the garage door open and his suitcase rolling away, I couldn't help but smile at Ryan. A few moments later he came back, perhaps breakfast first was a good idea. I agreed, and over a bowl of oatmeal he asked me the most beautiful question. "Mama, how come you were just going to let me go?" "Because I knew you wouldn't." I told him. "I knew your heart wanted to go and that you needed to make that plan, to feel the freedom of living in the woods all alone. I also knew that if I told you that you couldn't go that it would only make the desire stronger. I trust you and your hearts desires. I know that you want to live in the woods and build tree houses and fish for your food. I know that you will someday, but I also knew that it wasn't today." He smiled, "mama, if you told me no I would have been so mad, I would have left right then." "I know son, I know."
For now has decided that he will stay, for a while at least, and practice his survival skills. He will keep carving things and climbing things and get stronger and smarter. He's going to buy a fishing pole and a lighter and build Arlowe a tree house to practice. "I'm really going to do it mama! I'm going to live somewhere that I have to build my own boat and build my own house and not wear jeans and not have all of this. I don't need all of this!" I tell him that I agree with him and that I believe he will live like that some day. "I'll sure miss you when you do go," I tell him. "I'll visit on my birthday every year mama." "Promise?" "Promise."
This is the time of year that I want to sell it all and move into a tiny house in the woods. To dig my hands into the cool soil and to feel the sun on my bare skin. I notice that Caches especially is feeling this Spring energy.
He spent the entirety of yesterday afternoon outside climbing trees, carving a walking stick with his pocket knife, eating a popsicle and doing who knows what else, I wasn't there. We came inside for dinner and the moment his plate was cleared he was back outside playing. Around six o'clock he and Arlowe were climbing in the tree house out back when it started to rain the most perfect gentle Spring rain. I watched from the kitchen as he stretched his arms out and soaked it up, my sweetest nature boy. A bit later I called out to them reminding them that it was bath time and to please come in. About ten minutes later he and Arlowe joined me int he bathroom and informed me that they didn't want to live in a house anymore. "It's all too much!" Caches exclaimed. "I don't need all of this. This house and electricity and a bed, all of these clothes! I just want to live alone in the jungle or the forest. I'll cut down a tree and build a house. I'll fish for my food and sleep in a tree."
He and Arlowe had apparently already planned it all out.
"Well, you should probably take a bath before you go then", I suggested. He wasn't having it. He folded his arms and looked away.
Eventually he got in the tub and continued to talk to me about how he was going to survive on his own, what he needed to pack and how often he would come home to visit. He'd miss me he said, but he just felt so strongly on the inside that he had to go. He mused about what I should tell his teacher about him not being there, how he would call me and how he would acquire an address in the woods.
After bath as I brushed his long blonde hair he told me that he was serious, and he was planning on leaving in the middle of the night. "You'd better pack now then," I told him. He got out his suitcase and dropped in some clothes with holes in them, a few pair of pajamas and some undies. He added his leather man, a pocket knife, matches, rope, dried fruit, nuts and a bottle of water. I asked him how he would get water once in the woods and he decided that he should also bring our big Berkey water filter. He zipped up the suitcase and placed his walking stick atop. "Don't be scared if you hear me leave in the middle of the night, okay."
Back in his room he explained to me that he felt like Moana, "you know how her heart just knew that she had to leave even though it was scary?" I told him I completely understood, the heart is a powerful force that shouldn't be ignored. This isn't the first time he has spoken of leaving his house for the woods, but this was the first time he packed. "I'm serious mama, I'm really going." "I know you are son." I assured him. In between yawns and darkness we spoke about how often he would visit, how he would get food and water and what his house might look like. "Just go up the the mountains and look for a cut down tree then you will see my house right behind it, okay. It will be camouflaged but you will find me. You can visit whenever you want and I'll just be there." He wondered how long it would take him to walk all the way up to the mountains and thought about stopping off at a nice persons house on his way to rest and maybe have some food.
It was getting late so I kissed his head and asked that he please sneak in a give me a kiss before he left. He agreed as he turned to his side and continued to think about his adventure. I know he was thinking about it carefully.
When the sun came up this morning and he called out to me from his room, I told him I was surprised to see his suitcase still there when I woke up. He explained that he was just getting a good nights rest before he left but that he was still leaving. I asked if he wanted breakfast first but he thought he'd just have some of his fruit leather on his way up the mountain. He put his shoes and coat on and told us he was leaving. He gave hugs and kisses and started to walk out the door. Arlowe crumbled into my lap and cried while Ryan and I told him how much we loved him and how we would miss him so much. He cracked open the door with his walking stick and asked Arlowe one last time if she wanted to come. When she didn't answer he walked out the door.
I heard the garage door open and his suitcase rolling away, I couldn't help but smile at Ryan. A few moments later he came back, perhaps breakfast first was a good idea. I agreed, and over a bowl of oatmeal he asked me the most beautiful question. "Mama, how come you were just going to let me go?" "Because I knew you wouldn't." I told him. "I knew your heart wanted to go and that you needed to make that plan, to feel the freedom of living in the woods all alone. I also knew that if I told you that you couldn't go that it would only make the desire stronger. I trust you and your hearts desires. I know that you want to live in the woods and build tree houses and fish for your food. I know that you will someday, but I also knew that it wasn't today." He smiled, "mama, if you told me no I would have been so mad, I would have left right then." "I know son, I know."
For now has decided that he will stay, for a while at least, and practice his survival skills. He will keep carving things and climbing things and get stronger and smarter. He's going to buy a fishing pole and a lighter and build Arlowe a tree house to practice. "I'm really going to do it mama! I'm going to live somewhere that I have to build my own boat and build my own house and not wear jeans and not have all of this. I don't need all of this!" I tell him that I agree with him and that I believe he will live like that some day. "I'll sure miss you when you do go," I tell him. "I'll visit on my birthday every year mama." "Promise?" "Promise."
This is so sweet. And reads like a novel. A good book that gives me the warm fuzzies. Thanks for sharing this sweet story❤️
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