The Things We Do For Our Children

Of all the changes that have taken place in my body, my mind, and my diet, I am officially going on record and stating that the worst and most difficult change has been adding iodine spray to my daily supplements.  

It looks so unassuming in its cute brown bottle with its breezy little label

I always knew there were health benefits to iodine; it helps regulate the thyroid, good for the female system, helps to rid the body of toxins, etc., but I never really perused a supplement.  Now I know that if I had purchased a supplement prior to being pregnant I would have used it once and thrown it into the fire to burn in hell where it belongs.

Iodine is a ghastly, nauseating, sordid, repulsive, filthy little foe that I wish were never born.  The first time I took it was on the way home from the Health and Water store where I purchased it.  I was like Ooo, new supplement, fun, let's take it.  And I spritzed the recommended two sprays in my mouth while sitting at a red light.

The whole world went black and I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!  I panicked, searching the car for something to eat or drink.  OH MY GOD I POISONED MYSELF, I thought!!! I would have done anything, ANYTHING to get the taste out of my mouth.   THANK GOD I had a water bottle in my car and I drank every drop and wanted more, I NEEDED more!

I searched the car for something to eat, a piece of gum, a cough drop, a dried up piece of dog food, but there was nothing to be found.  I then resorted to mind over matter.  It's not so bad, I told myself.  Just a little unexpected.  I am sure the taste will subside any second.  Well, matter won and I stopped at the nearest store and bought a Snickers bar.  Hell yes a Snickers bar, and I wasn't even out of the door before I had that thing ripped open and in my mouth.  The delicious candy tried to cover the cruel iodine but I swear it had roots and the taste lingered. 

Now every morning is a mind game.  I see it in my cabinet and cringe, knowing that I have to spray it in my mouth and suffer. I feel like a little kid whose mom is trying to get them to take cough syrup.  I want to run and hide under the bed or stamp my foot and cry,  but I put on my big girl, elastic flippin' waist pants and spray.

I have worked out a pretty good system where I spray the iodine and then take my other vitamins immediately after.  I then shove fruit or something sweet in right away and let it sit on my tongue.  This is then followed by a lot of water, and self pity.

I am sure I will bring this up to my kid any time he or she has to eat or drink something they don't like or if they try to pull a I'm too dumb to know the answer trick.  I can hear it now..."Do you have any idea how I suffered for your brain?  There is no way you don't know the answer, I drank iodine for god's sake"  or "You are complaining about cough syrup?  Here, wait just a moment and let me get the iodine, then we'll see who's crying!" 

So I suppose there is a plus side to this torture...future guilt trip.

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