A Slow Down

Last Thursday Abner tweaked his back again and was in a lot of pain; so was I.  I am telling you it is pure torture to watch an animal in pain knowing there is nothing you can do to quell it, TORTURE!  I'd tell all my secrets, give up all my money, let Ryan tap his pen AND leave smudge marks on the fridge if I never had to see it again.  I am just not cut out to handle this kind of thing. 

So why the hell am I having a baby!?!?

He didn't respond as quickly to the pain medication and muscle relaxers this time due to his body building a bit of tolerance so by Sunday I was ready to close my puffy eyes, pull my hair out and retreat somewhere, anywhere but here.  It was that painfully long Sunday that I found myself thinking a lot about how I would deal with a sick or  injured child.  After a lot of thought I came a conclusion; I wouldn't.

I would be the WORST.  Well, not the worst because I can put on a poker face and tell them that everything is going to be alright but inside I am a battlefield of physical and emotional pain. I used to think I wanted to be a vet when I grew up.  It is almost laughable now to think that I could have dealt with animals and their people hurting every day.  I ugly cry at the fucking Sarah Mclachlan animal TV commercial 

So, an update.  Abner is now officially feeling better and all the while making me feel like an epic failure at life because I won't let him do anything fun.  You know, like chasing butterfly shadows, taking flying leaps off of furniture, diving under the bed and jumping with Lilly, playing viscous games of tug of war and/or going for a walk.  He just stares at me with big sad eyes because he doesn't understand and I, like a fool, try to explain it to him, repeatedly. 

On Friday the vet was explaining the game plan to get Abner better and after discussing that he needed to rest for at least 2 weeks then gradually get back to a bit more normal activity, the tech helping out reminded me that I shouldn't put him  up on anything that he would have to jump down from.  I shouldn't PUT HIM UP!!!???  Are you kidding me!!??  I looked at the vet, took a deep breath, and said, "trust me, I don't put him anywhere.  He is a mutant freak dog that can FLY!  I can't even take a pee without bringing him with me for fear that he will do something stupid.  The last thing I'm going to do is PUT him up on something!"

So maybe I was a bit snappy.  But the beat goes on...


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