Defying Gravity

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PLUS

EQUALS
NIGHTMARE!

So I'm in the office checking email, minding my own business, when I hear the all to familiar sounds of Abner beginning a freak out session.  It starts with digging and barking and barking and barking and some more digging and barking.  I hope that if I ignore it he will go away, but I should know him better than that.  He NEVER goes away.

My ears are beginning to bleed from the incessant barking so I decide to walk into the bedroom and see what his malfunction is.  I figure he is either under the bed scratching the carpet and barking or on the chair scratching in the corner and barking but no, OH NO! He is in the baby's bassinet rolling around on his back scratching and you guessed it, barking!

He is pretty damn proud of himself and I am completely dumbfounded.  What the hell does he think he is doing? And more importantly, how the hell did he get his fat ass in there?  If you have ever seen a French Bulldog you know that they are short and stout, not exactly built for jumping.  Oh, and by the way, maybe he forgot that he has a bad back and is forbidden from jumping!  I swear to god this dog is an absolute freak of nature.  

Most people, including myself, are worried that their cat might jump in the bassinet and suffocate the baby.  THAT is logical, that could actually happen.  But me, I have an almost 30 pound flying French Bulldog to worry about too.  

Figures

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