Some things better left unsaid...

If Ryan were Superman, his kryptonite's would be mayonnaise and sour cream. Needless to say whenever we go out to eat there is always a firm, NO MAYO ON MY SANDWICH or NO SOUR CREAM ANYWHERE NEAR MY NACHOS! I know he really wants to pull a Bruce Willis and say, "if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door."

At breakfast:

Waitress: Here you go. (puts Ryan's plate down with a HUGE gob of sour cream)

Me: Oh, he didn't want sour cream

Ryan: No words, just making a face as though someone had just shit on his foot

Waitress: Oh my gosh I am so sorry, you did say no sour cream, here let me take it back...are you allergic?

Ryan: No, it just makes me want to vomit!

Me: Check please

Comments

  1. I couldn't agree more with all my brother's sentiments and behaviors. Anyone in food service should know those lard based products are either loved or hated, and pay attention. Its not like you can just pick it off, its spreadable lard for f-'s sake.

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