A place for everything and everything in its place

Not only is this a catchy phrase and quite honestly music to my ears, but it also encompasses the very way my brain functions. I am not sure why, but my mind moves a million miles an hour and is always thinking about more than one thing at a time. This is why it helps me to have everything where it belongs; in my mind and in my living space. You see, if things are out of place it makes for quite the circus event.

If I walk into the bedroom to get dressed and everything isn’t in its proper place I can not get dressed until it is. It is like invasion of the body snatchers and I can’t control it. All of a sudden my arms are making the bed and opening the blinds and straightening the picture frames and fluffing the pillows. Then my legs take over and walk me to the hamper which I see has enough whites for a load of wash and before I know it I am standing in the laundry room still in my pajamas.

Wash started, off to get dressed, but in order to walk back to my bedroom from the laundry room I must pass the living room causing my arms to involuntarily fluff pillows and adjust magazines and open blinds and fix dog blankets and putt away dog toys and toss Ryan’s club soda can from last night into the recycle bin, which lands me in the kitchen.

OK, I’ll get dressed after I put the coffee pot away, meanwhile where the hell is my coffee? Ah, there it is. I am going to have to reheat for the 5th time because I keep taking one sip and setting it down and forgetting about it. Hum, I should probably wipe down the counter…beep beep beep. Ah, the microwave, my coffee. Now where was I? Oh yes, getting dressed. Oh shit is it really 9 o'clock already!

Throw on whatever I can find, straighten the duvet where Abner jumped on the bed, grab shoes, put away the bone I almost just stepped on, get my purse, did I remember to brush? Grab a snack, wipe up that one random crumb on the counter, where is my coffee? Look for coffee, find it, cold, reheat the coffee and in the 30 seconds it takes to warm, get the dogs a treat, pick up the random stick Abner just brought inside, WHY DO MY DOGS KEEP PUTTING RANDOM SHIT IN MY WAY? Kiss dogs and I'm out the door. Jump in the car and WHERE THE HELL IS MY COFFEE?

You see, now I am faced with a horrible dilemma. If I go back inside then I will get the dogs all excited which I’m fairly certain will cause the earth not to turn and aliens will fall from space and we will all die. But if I don’t go back then my coffee will sit in the microwave all day and what if the clean police choose MY house to inspect today and they call me and say, “Well, we WERE going to give you a million dollars for a clean house but that coffee in the microwave totally killed it for you.”

Alright brain, find a happy spot or you are going to be late for work and then the world really will fall apart.

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