Like Mother, Like Son

I have been a bit preoccupied with Abner this week, trying to keep him as quiet as possible and pain free.  OK fine, I have been totally obsessing and it has taken over the small amount of functioning brain space I had left and smashed it like a watermelon flying off of the fifth floor.  I admit it, sit down for this confession, I am feeling overwhelmed.  That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I think the reason I am feeling this way is because I blame myself for him getting injured in the first place.  I knew he wasn't supposed to jump on and off of the bed but for some reason, because he could do it so effortlessly, I let him do it.  I always had a little feeling that I let him play too rough, but he loved it so much that I let him do it and now he is left confused and it is all my fault.

He doesn't understand why he can't jump up on the bed tonight when he could a few nights ago.  Or why I took away his lookout chair in the front window, or why he doesn't get to go for a walk.  And he looks at me with these big sad brown eyes and I fall apart.  To make matters worse, he is the WORST patient ever, aside from me of course.

He thinks that he is healed, like nothing ever happened and he should just go right back to normal every day life.  I wish he could, but what he fails to realize is that he only reason he is feeling better is because he is medicated.  Doesn't he know he could re injure himself at any moment and that would be my fault too!  And I am a horrible mom and the world is going to end!  UHHHHH!! You try reasoning with a French Bulldog sometime and let me know how it goes.

In the mean time I am trying not to be so hard on myself and am seriously considering just locking him in a cage for, oh let's say about 2 years?   It won't be so bad, his human sibling will probably be joining him in said cage sooner than later.

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