Night weaning, part one
My mind is made up, I'm going to do it.
Eventually...
I myself am a creature of habit, I don't like abrupt changes. And because I assume my son is the same way and he can't tell me otherwise, I will be doing this gradually.
Step one, talk about it, is underway. No, I don't think Caches completely understands the concept or what I mean when I tell him that soon he can only nurse during the day and that nursing will soon go to sleep at night, but I am starting the conversation and including him in the process, and that makes me feel better. Who are we kidding here, I'm the one who needs to feel better right now. Can you say mommy guilt.
I go through moments of tremendous courage and conviction where I am sure that it will be successful and everyone will be happier. I can and will do this and it will go better than imagined. And then I go through moments when it all seems so incredibly overwhelming that I want to just curl up in a ball and cry.
Right now I'm kind of teetering between the two. I'm sure that I want to at least try but I'm still scared. I spend every moment of every day making sure my child's needs are met and that he is happy, that's me job. And so it seems so wrong to force something that I know will upset him, to deny him. But then I remind myself that he is going on 16 months old and I am going on 16 months of NO SLEEP, and that he will be okay.
He will be okay.
I have asked many supportive women to share their stories of night weaning with me and the reaction of their children vary greatly. Some fussed a bit, rolled over and went to sleep and that was it, while some protested for hours each night for days on end. The longest was 10 days. I don't know if I have the energy or emotional capability to endure 10 days, but I have to try.
I have to try.
And he will be okay.
Step one, talk about it, is underway. No, I don't think Caches completely understands the concept or what I mean when I tell him that soon he can only nurse during the day and that nursing will soon go to sleep at night, but I am starting the conversation and including him in the process, and that makes me feel better. Who are we kidding here, I'm the one who needs to feel better right now. Can you say mommy guilt.
I go through moments of tremendous courage and conviction where I am sure that it will be successful and everyone will be happier. I can and will do this and it will go better than imagined. And then I go through moments when it all seems so incredibly overwhelming that I want to just curl up in a ball and cry.
Right now I'm kind of teetering between the two. I'm sure that I want to at least try but I'm still scared. I spend every moment of every day making sure my child's needs are met and that he is happy, that's me job. And so it seems so wrong to force something that I know will upset him, to deny him. But then I remind myself that he is going on 16 months old and I am going on 16 months of NO SLEEP, and that he will be okay.
He will be okay.
I have asked many supportive women to share their stories of night weaning with me and the reaction of their children vary greatly. Some fussed a bit, rolled over and went to sleep and that was it, while some protested for hours each night for days on end. The longest was 10 days. I don't know if I have the energy or emotional capability to endure 10 days, but I have to try.
I have to try.
And he will be okay.
Ann, he WILL be fine. He will. He will try to make you believe otherwise, but he will be fine. He doesn't need to nurse at night to survive. You are not depriving him of a vital need - you are breaking him of a habit. Remember that a mom with sixteen months of sleep deprivation under her belt is not a mom/wife/human at her best. Hang in there and *****hugs*****
ReplyDeleteF**K. I can't believe I typed "Ann" instead of "Anne". I'm sorry. :(
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