A note on nursing in public
Ah, nursing in public. Sounds relatively simple, doesn't it? Baby is hungry and starts to fuss a bit so you find a comfortable spot, sit down, adjust yourself and all is right with the world. Hum, it actually does sound rather simple when I put it that way. Only it isn't so simple. There is a learning curve. And dirty looks. We can't forget the dirty looks.
When Caches was a newborn I was terrified to nurse him in public. Just thinking about it would cause me so much anxiety that for the first few weeks I made sure to be home for all his feedings. There was a time or two that I fed him in my car with a blanket, but not in real, people walking by, public. No way!
Now as you know, Caches has never been a patient sort. He has always gone from sleeping quietly to screaming in 2 seconds flat. There was no sweet mouthing of a fist, no quiet nuzzle into my chest and there was absolutely NO WAY in hell he was accepting a pacifier. It was woman, feed me, NOW! So inevitably there were times when we were in public and my screaming time bomb needed to nurse.
We are professional now, but I can still remember the first time. We were at a restaurant and our food was taking a lot longer than I had thought. I knew he was going to wake up and need to eat. My anxiety was creeping and my pits were starting to sweat. Sure enough, he's up. Okay, I can do this. I got my little nursing cover thingy out and put it over my head. Um, but now I can't see my baby. I tried to peek through the top but it just wasn't going to happen. He was getting agitated and now my butt crack was sweating too. So I ditched the nursing cover and grabbed a blanket.
Okay, here we go. I draped the blanket over my shoulder, positioned the baby and sat back hoping he'd latch on. Of course not. He was flailing all over the place like some kind of ninja fighting the blanket. I kept repositioning it and he kept kicking it off. Meanwhile I'm trying not to flash the table across form me and my butt crack is totally starting to sweat along with my brow. Come on baby, help me out here.
Nope. Now the blanket is in his face and he's looking up at me crying like, "Why are you trying to suffocate me? I know I'm difficult, but really, you're just going to suffocate me, in public? There are witnesses, woman!"
And he's screaming.
Screw the blanket, sorry anybody in the restaurant who may or may not be offended, my kid is hungry and I'm feeding him. Ahh, baby eating, body temperature lowering, breathe. That was easy, or not. There has to be a better way, right? Yep, stop trying to protect everyone else and their opinions about nursing and just do it.
Humm, do I need to credit Nike?
Since then I have been on the receiving end of a few eye rolls, dirty looks and whispers but to be completely honest, I could give two shits. Me! The person who cares about EVERYTHING and how everyone else feels above herself doesn't care one bit if you are offended by me nursing my baby, well now toddler, in public. Because here's the bottom line; I'm not doing anything wrong.
My baby wants to eat and I feed him. End of story, roll credits, put a fork in it, done! There is nothing to discuss. You are offended then YOU relocate, we are comfortable, thankyouverymuch.
Okay, fine. I do kind of "get it." If you have never really been around a woman nursing before it can be a little socially awkward to make eye contact with one. You wonder where you are supposed to look. You want to say hi to the cute baby but there is the boob factor. You don't want to be rude and look away but you don't want to stare. I can see why I can be a bit uncomfortable. BUT...there is a huge difference between being a bit uncomfortable and not quite knowing what to do verses having a problem, making a comment to the mother and making her uncomfortable or say, CALLING THE COPS!
Nice one Applebee's
I guess It just makes me sad because there are so many women who are already struggling with their nursing relationship and then to receive negativity when out in public about doing something this is normal. Sigh, I don't think people realize how damaging their opinions can be to a mother. You are essentially publicly shaming her.
Not quite sure how to end this other than to say this. If something makes you uncomfortable, but it is legal, move on. This goes for A LOT of things, not just nursing. Remember that old saying, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, yeah, go with that.
When Caches was a newborn I was terrified to nurse him in public. Just thinking about it would cause me so much anxiety that for the first few weeks I made sure to be home for all his feedings. There was a time or two that I fed him in my car with a blanket, but not in real, people walking by, public. No way!
Now as you know, Caches has never been a patient sort. He has always gone from sleeping quietly to screaming in 2 seconds flat. There was no sweet mouthing of a fist, no quiet nuzzle into my chest and there was absolutely NO WAY in hell he was accepting a pacifier. It was woman, feed me, NOW! So inevitably there were times when we were in public and my screaming time bomb needed to nurse.
We are professional now, but I can still remember the first time. We were at a restaurant and our food was taking a lot longer than I had thought. I knew he was going to wake up and need to eat. My anxiety was creeping and my pits were starting to sweat. Sure enough, he's up. Okay, I can do this. I got my little nursing cover thingy out and put it over my head. Um, but now I can't see my baby. I tried to peek through the top but it just wasn't going to happen. He was getting agitated and now my butt crack was sweating too. So I ditched the nursing cover and grabbed a blanket.
Okay, here we go. I draped the blanket over my shoulder, positioned the baby and sat back hoping he'd latch on. Of course not. He was flailing all over the place like some kind of ninja fighting the blanket. I kept repositioning it and he kept kicking it off. Meanwhile I'm trying not to flash the table across form me and my butt crack is totally starting to sweat along with my brow. Come on baby, help me out here.
Nope. Now the blanket is in his face and he's looking up at me crying like, "Why are you trying to suffocate me? I know I'm difficult, but really, you're just going to suffocate me, in public? There are witnesses, woman!"
And he's screaming.
Screw the blanket, sorry anybody in the restaurant who may or may not be offended, my kid is hungry and I'm feeding him. Ahh, baby eating, body temperature lowering, breathe. That was easy, or not. There has to be a better way, right? Yep, stop trying to protect everyone else and their opinions about nursing and just do it.
Humm, do I need to credit Nike?
Since then I have been on the receiving end of a few eye rolls, dirty looks and whispers but to be completely honest, I could give two shits. Me! The person who cares about EVERYTHING and how everyone else feels above herself doesn't care one bit if you are offended by me nursing my baby, well now toddler, in public. Because here's the bottom line; I'm not doing anything wrong.
My baby wants to eat and I feed him. End of story, roll credits, put a fork in it, done! There is nothing to discuss. You are offended then YOU relocate, we are comfortable, thankyouverymuch.
Okay, fine. I do kind of "get it." If you have never really been around a woman nursing before it can be a little socially awkward to make eye contact with one. You wonder where you are supposed to look. You want to say hi to the cute baby but there is the boob factor. You don't want to be rude and look away but you don't want to stare. I can see why I can be a bit uncomfortable. BUT...there is a huge difference between being a bit uncomfortable and not quite knowing what to do verses having a problem, making a comment to the mother and making her uncomfortable or say, CALLING THE COPS!
Nice one Applebee's
I guess It just makes me sad because there are so many women who are already struggling with their nursing relationship and then to receive negativity when out in public about doing something this is normal. Sigh, I don't think people realize how damaging their opinions can be to a mother. You are essentially publicly shaming her.
Not quite sure how to end this other than to say this. If something makes you uncomfortable, but it is legal, move on. This goes for A LOT of things, not just nursing. Remember that old saying, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, yeah, go with that.
"My opinion is anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard"
ReplyDelete--David Allen
I thought I would be much more conservative with it in the very beginning, but all it took was one very loud meltdown in a very public place with no time for the nursing cover or blanket or fumbling and bang out it came, into the mouth, done. Once it's in his mouth, the amount of boob showing for lookie loos to see is about what most women these days walk around with calling "cleavage" anyway.
I do cover when I can, but during meltdown mode I will do what needs to be done for my baby first. I am however looking forward to the cozy fall weather even more because scarves do a wonderful job of camouflaging it a bit more without the clumsy blanket or nursing cover. And way more fashionable to boot!
Suzanne
At Northridge Mall, my friend Donna and I sat in a quiet corner to discreetly nurse our babies. We were enjoying our success when two older women walked by and started applauding and hooting their approval. We appreciated their support but would have liked a subtle comment rather than a cheering section! But, honestly, I can't remember any blatant disapproval, ever.
ReplyDelete