Flipping the roll

A little while ago, actually like two years ago, I wrote a little diddy about Ryan's inability to refill the small drizzle bottle of olive oil.  We all have our own olive oil chore, and for me it is replacing the empty roll of toilet paper with a new one.  I mean I HATE doing it!  Which is strange because I also can not stand when someone else does it wrong.  As in positions the roll so that the end hangs under.  How dare you do me a favor and do it WRONG!  It MUST roll over or I will have anxiety every time I step foot in the bathroom and I'll never be able to poop again!  If you haven't guessed already, Ryan is an end of the roll under toilet paper replacer!

I almost couldn't marry him because of it.

Bottom line, I don't like doing it, and because I am the one who uses toilet paper most frequently, for #1, #2, baby boogers, spiders, etc, I always seem to end up using the last square.  I swear Ryan leaves juuuuust enough for me to wipe and have to replace it every. single. time. but he would tell you otherwise.  Anyway, because I don't like doing it I tend to "forget" about it, like a lot.  That is until I have already sat down to pee.  Then, when I reach for paper there is nothing but an empty spring loaded holder thingy I'm like ohhh yeah, damn it!  And yes, you read that correctly.  I go through the trouble of recycling the empty roll but don't go the extra mile and put on a new one. 

Make life easier and keep an extra roll by the toilet, you say.  Can't do it.  Just in case you have only recently started reading this blog, let me remind you of something very important to keep in mind when reading ALL my posts.  I'm completely, certifiably crazy, no seriously, I have papers.  I also probably have a mild form of OCD, and in my world, extra toilet paper belongs in the storage closet with extra Kleenex, extra towels, extra toiletries, you get the picture.  Extra toilet paper does not belong sitting next to my toilet even if it makes my life full easier.

So now I am left with a dilemma. Drip dry?  Just pull up the pants?  Use a Kleenex and risk backing up the plumbing because you know, Kleenex wasn't designed to be flushed, and ONE single Kleenex could cause a massive back up and flood the house! Sigh.  You know what I don't do?  Walk my drip dried ass over to the cabinet and replace the toilet paper roll!!!  Why, WHY don't I do it!?  I swear I will let this happen a good 3-4 times before I "remember" to replace the roll.  It's like my brain just refuses to do it.

Maybe it's because sometimes, if I wait long enough, it magically gets replaced.  Kind of like the bottle of olive oil in the kitchen.  Of course it gets replaced with the end of the roll facing UNDER, but it is replaced none the less. Well, last week the guest bathroom was missing toilet paper for a good two days.  Nobody said anything about it and neither one of us was budging.  It was a big fluffy elephant in the room.  It was a waiting game.  I used the other bathroom on purpose.  HA! Eventually the toilet paper fairy replaced the roll, HA again!  But while the toilet paper holder sat vacant, I drizzled the last little bit of olive oil out of the bottle I put that freakin' thing right back in the cabinet without filling it.

You know, so I could do it later.