You'd think my nose would have grown by now...

So, I know posting has been a bit light lately and that I even went as far as to write a kind message about it and promise to change my slacker ways. I also know that that was like 5 days ago and I haven't posted a single good thing since, TOTAL LIAR RIGHT?

The catch is, I have a very good reason.

My sweet father in law Patrick suffered a heart attack and Ryan and I went to be with him. Let me first off tell you that he is doing WONDERFUL, very lucky man. He had 99% blockage of a main artery that supplied his body with 60% of its blood, kind of a BIG DEAL! Luckily they were able to go in and place a stint to open the artery back to full flow.

The doctor showed us a video of the procedure and it really was miraculous. We got to see how slowly the blood was moving and how labored his heart was before and then how quickly and freely it was pumping afterward. I mean AMAZING SHIT! He then told us that Patrick was extremely lucky and was fixing to have a MAJOR heart attack but only suffered a mild one that will cause no long term damage to the heart! Best news we could ask for.

Once Ryan and I were able to let out a breath of relief, the fun of sitting around a hospital set it. I am probably going straight to hell for what I am about to write, but I am seriously thinking that it is TOTALLY WORTH IT.

First of all, what the fuck is up with all the fat nurses AND doctors? I can't tell you how many times I heard nurses and doctors giving patients orders to eat better, loose weight and stop smoking only to see them devouring HUGE lunches and taking smoke breaks. I mean, I know it is a stressful job but COME ON!

Patrick's discharge nurse was going over his new diet and straight up said, "I am telling you all this diet information, but honestly, I don't do it." Thanks a lot bitch, couldn't you have lied? It is going to be hard enough to get him off bacon WITHOUT your "help."

Also, I know Fresno is a pretty big city, but holy shit. I saw more pregnant women in the last two days than I have seen in all my years watching A Baby Story. There must have been 5 or 6 of them in the lobby waiting at all times and a few more upstairs doing laps around the banister to bring on contractions. Lucky for them though, they are delivering BEFORE Fresno turns into a hell hole of 100 plus degrees every day.

The topper of the stay has got to be our last day there. To start, we had to wait for two different doctors to sign off on Patrick so he could be discharged. The first came around noon and was quick and painless, but the second took ALL DAY to see us. I understand that he is an important cardiac doctor with a lot to do, but I want to complain and make it all about us and HE MADE US WAIT ALL FUCKING DAY! BOO HOO.

When he finally came in, he gave the EXACT same speech he had given us the day prior, then asked Patrick a few questions and was on his way. ALL DAY FOR THAT? COULDN'T YOU JUST HAVE CALLED AND TOLD US? Oh well, at least it is done and we can leave.

In comes the discharge nurse with prescriptions, a sign off sheet and a huge amount of paperwork accompanying all of it. By the end of her speech, which was hard to understand because she was a mumbler, we were told that we were free to go but would have to wait for an escort.

Let me get this straight, he was allowed to walk around the ward at his leisure before, but now that we are leaving he suddenly needs a wheelchair? Whatever, you hospitals and all your silly rules, I will never understand. Anyway, he couldn't fill his Rx because his pharmacy was already closed so I go ask the nurse if we can have his pills for the evening as we will not be able to get to the pharmacy until tomorrow.

Of course we can, and she opens up the pill cabinet. Ryan has gone to bring the car around by now and Patrick is sitting in the wheelchair patiently waiting to breath some fresh air and the nurse is taking FOREVER to find the pills. Finally she comes up with two small bags containing one pill each and tells me that these are his pills for the night.

I take one look at the labels on the bags and inform the nurse that this is NOT Luis Williams, this is Patrick Nessier and she has just given us the WRONG PILLS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Pull your shit together lady, go have a smoke, whatever it takes, the wrong pills, NOT OK!

Finally, with the correct pills in hand, Patrick in his wheelchair and Ryan in the pick up area we are free...until Ryan realized he forgot the huge pile of paperwork at the hospital and has to drive all the way back to get it; bless his heart.

And while the past few days have been trying, I must say that we did pretty good in crisis mode and I am more than impressed with my husband, his huge heart, and the love it exudes every day. You really are amazing babe. And Patrick, even if you think I'm not watching, I KNOW if you have been eating t-bone and onion rings; be good! Love Anne