Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over
Lilly's 7th birthday was this weekend and we made sure it was a birthday to remember. We started the day off with a nice refreshing trip to Carmel beach followed by a visit to Diggity Dog, a rad dog boutique down the street.
When we walked in she and Abner's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates with delight at the huge bins of free flowing TREATS. Now, this is not our first rodeo and we know to walk past the bins quickly or it would just be a fight to keep her skull out of them. I figure letting her go in Diggity Dog would be like letting me go at an all you can eat ice cream buffet.
Once she gained her composure, aside from the drool dripping from her jowls, we let her pick out a bone, a treat and a piece of doggy birthday cake. Abner of course got a few treats as well, but no cake as he cannot chew it with his ridiculous bully teeth.
The store clerk, noticing that we were getting doggy cake, asked who's birthday it was and proceeded to give Lilly and Abner more treats than they typically get in a month in 25 seconds. Luckily Abner chews VERY SLOWLY and gets every other bite stuck in his gums or I imagine the stench from his ass would have killed us both later that night.
Anyway, Lilly is PUMPED, she doesn't even know what is going on. Did I die and go to heaven? Can they FINALLY read my mind!? Why are is everyone FEEDING ME!!!!?? She was so beside herself with glee that by the time we left I think she was in a whole other world. We began walking toward the door and boom, faster than she lunges for cat shit, she lunged toward the peanut butter treats and INHALED two of them INHALED! I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING.
I looked back to see if any of the employees saw us and when I realized they were looking the other way, I ran out the door. I wanted to avoid the whole awkward calling of the cops, the questioning Lilly about her eating disorder and grilling the parents about her new affinity for shoplifting!
Next stop, breakfast.
We decided on Jeffery's in Mid Valley because, well, it's really fucking GOOD. We got Lilly a side of bacon and snuck her little pieces throughout the meal, every time looking more and more elated that she was EATING BACON FROM THE TABLE. Again, she got a little too cocky and licked a raspberry right off my plate. Oh well, you are only 7 once.
And while her face may be getting grey, her spirit is as bright as a young pup. She is one of the strangest, most techno dogs I have ever met, but I love her more than I could have ever imagined.
When we walked in she and Abner's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates with delight at the huge bins of free flowing TREATS. Now, this is not our first rodeo and we know to walk past the bins quickly or it would just be a fight to keep her skull out of them. I figure letting her go in Diggity Dog would be like letting me go at an all you can eat ice cream buffet.
Once she gained her composure, aside from the drool dripping from her jowls, we let her pick out a bone, a treat and a piece of doggy birthday cake. Abner of course got a few treats as well, but no cake as he cannot chew it with his ridiculous bully teeth.
The store clerk, noticing that we were getting doggy cake, asked who's birthday it was and proceeded to give Lilly and Abner more treats than they typically get in a month in 25 seconds. Luckily Abner chews VERY SLOWLY and gets every other bite stuck in his gums or I imagine the stench from his ass would have killed us both later that night.
Anyway, Lilly is PUMPED, she doesn't even know what is going on. Did I die and go to heaven? Can they FINALLY read my mind!? Why are is everyone FEEDING ME!!!!?? She was so beside herself with glee that by the time we left I think she was in a whole other world. We began walking toward the door and boom, faster than she lunges for cat shit, she lunged toward the peanut butter treats and INHALED two of them INHALED! I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING.
I looked back to see if any of the employees saw us and when I realized they were looking the other way, I ran out the door. I wanted to avoid the whole awkward calling of the cops, the questioning Lilly about her eating disorder and grilling the parents about her new affinity for shoplifting!
Next stop, breakfast.
We decided on Jeffery's in Mid Valley because, well, it's really fucking GOOD. We got Lilly a side of bacon and snuck her little pieces throughout the meal, every time looking more and more elated that she was EATING BACON FROM THE TABLE. Again, she got a little too cocky and licked a raspberry right off my plate. Oh well, you are only 7 once.
And while her face may be getting grey, her spirit is as bright as a young pup. She is one of the strangest, most techno dogs I have ever met, but I love her more than I could have ever imagined.
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