Rules were made to be broken

I don’t know about you, but I have an ongoing and ever changing list of things I will not, or at least will TRY not to do. And unless I stop to think about it, I falsely assume that I am doing a pretty good job at staying on track. Well, I’ve been thinking about it lately and it seems that for every rule I have for myself I also have a built in excuse. And handy as these excuses are, they are starting to make me look like a bit of an asshole.

Let’s go ahead and start off with the rule I am currently breaking; no eating sweets after 7pm.
This usually lasts a grand total of 3 days and then I start in with the first excuse of, “well, I haven’t had any treats in 3 days and it is ONLY 7:05, one little cookie isn’t going to hurt.” Then I move on to the next excuse, the one I used tonight which is, “I want some damn ice cream and I’m a grown ass woman and I make my own decisions and I’M EATING IT!” As though anyone was arguing with me.

I guess technically I am arguing with myself about all of this aren’t I. Moving on.

Only buy organic fruits and vegetables from the “Dirty Dozen” list.*
But these raspberries are only 2.99 for 12oz, 12 OUNCES! That is insane. I could buy like 4 containers and eat them all day and night. Did you know that raspberries are a good source of protein? I should call some of my friends and let them know about this. This is a hell of a deal! Oh wait, they are conventionally grown. On who cares they are 2.99. FOR 12 OUNCES!

God, I am annoying

Avoid Starbucks at all costs; always try to find a local coffee shop to support.
But I’m out of town and I’m under a lot of stress and there is a Starbucks RIGHT THERE. What if a local coffee shop doesn’t have unsweetened black tea for Ryan? What if I get lost on my way back from the local shop and all the ice melts before I can get the iced tea to him? What if really am as crazy as they say. Who is “they?” how should I know, but I know they are talking shit.

Never buy anything that is not on sale.
But that shirt might as well be on sale it is so cheap! I mean eight dollars for a t-shirt! And it fits well! I know I have bought shirts that were on sale for a lot more than eight dollars. What am I really trying to prove here? If I wait for it to go on sale I know they will run out of my size. Why do I have to wear a size medium shirt and size 10 shoes? They ALWAYS run out of mediums and 10's. I better just buy it now. I can always bring in my receipt if it goes on sale in a week. Did I mention that those raspberries were NOT on sale that was their real price? 2.99 was the REAL PRICE, don’t you see the conundrum?

Avoid fast food.
In and Out isn’t fast food right? I mean it has a drive through but they only have like three things on their menu and their fries are made from real potatoes. I know because I have seen them make the fries on multiple occasions. Not that I have fast food a lot, I mean In and Out Burger. I don’t eat the meat so that should count for something right? And I didn’t get animal style like I wanted to and I’m drinking water with my meal and is it really even fast food if the line is taking FOR FUCKING EVER? Good thing I didn’t order a coffee.

So, here I sit with an empty bowl of ice cream next to me (at 8:13pm), a 12oz container of conventional raspberries in the fridge, an eight dollar t-shirt with the tags still on it in the closet, a Starbucks cup in the recycling bin and a serious craving for In and Out Burger. At least I can rest easy knowing that tomorrow is a new day. A day that will surely include a morning yoga session, taking my vitamins, packing my lunch, trying not to say fuck so much, and waking up without hitting the snooze button.

*In case anyone is interested. The dirty dozen consists of: Apples, Peaches, Strawberries, Raspberries, Nectarines, Grapes, Cherries, Pears, Bell Peppers, Celery, Potatoes and Spinach.