I scream, you scream
You know how when you first start dating someone you tend to keep your love for certain things a secret; at least for a little while. Things like drinking milk right out of the carton, walking around naked or in my case, the ability to polish off an entire pint of ice cream; alone, in front of the TV, with only a spoon.
Ryan knew going into this that I was a lover if ice cream. In fact, one of our first dates was going to Baskin n Robbins where I ordered a double scoop. Might as well break him in early right? To be honest, I did consider for a moment ordering only one scoop, but the reality is I NEVER order only one scoop. Who was I kidding?
From that day on we frequently walked to get ice cream, drove to get ice cream and made special stops at the grocery store to, you guessed, get ice cream. To me this ice cream eating was perfectly normal, but to Ryan, not so much.
I remember one day him telling me that in the past 3 months he had eaten more ice cream than he had in YEARS. YEARS PEOPLE. He then informed me that he rarely if ever even had ice cream in the house. I almost passed out but held it together; after all, I was falling in love and even better, I knew he would never steal my ice cream!
Flash forward a few months and I started to spend some more time at Ryan’s house so, to be nice, he kept a few things I liked in the fridge, one of them being ice cream. I would have a little bit every once and a while, but I wasn’t there enough to hit the cardboard on the bottom. A while later, while scanning the fridge for a snack I noticed the same pint of ice cream, untouched from the last time I dug in.
Later still and that same pint of ice cream was still just sitting there! I had probably polished of 5 pints since… I’m talking MONTHS that sad little pint of ice cream sat there. I used to open the carton and check to see if he had eaten any but no. Just that poor rejected old ice crystal laden ice cream going to waste. It was official. I would have to support Ben and Jerry alone.
Where the hell am I going with all of this you might ask? I’m getting there. I just needed to give a little back story so when I tell you about Ryan and my argument you will know why I was RIGHT!
A few weeks ago I bought Ryan a scoop of Tax Crunch ice cream from Baskin n Robbins. I know it is one of his favorites and they only have it once a year; and I am just THAT nice. Anyway, that damn scoop of ice cream sat in the freezer day after day, week after week, mocking me. Finally, last night I asked him why he hadn’t eaten it yet.
Him: I forgot about it
Me: Forgot about it, how do you forget about a scoop of ice cream specially purchased for you
Him: I just don’t ever think to eat ice cream
…A tiny piece of my heart broke in a million pieces.
Not five minutes later he emerges from the kitchen with his scoop of Tax Crunch and a question.
Him: Where did that pint of Chubby Hubby I bought go?
Me: Umm, I ate it
Him: THE WHOLE THING?
Me: YES, IT WAS IN THERE FOR WEEKS
Him: BUT IT WAS MINE
Me: OH WAS IT? Are we going to start labeling foods now, because if we are then you better go grocery shopping!
Him: That’s not what I meant. You don’t even like Chubby Hubby.
Me: EXCUSE ME. I believe I was the one who introduced you to the flavor and I DO like it. It’s ice cream dude, I LOVE IT
Him: Fine, but you didn’t save me any
Me: Wow, want me to go get you some now because guess what buddy we are in America and we have grocery stores and I can get you another flippin’ pint of ice cream!
Him: I don’t want it, but what if I did and it wasn’t in there?
Me: Then you could drive your ass to the store and buy some more!
He then proceeded to eat almost the entire scoop of Tax Crunch WITHOUT GIVING ME A BITE. Don’t worry, he came to his senses and shared. See, that is what marriage is all about, sharing.
Ryan knew going into this that I was a lover if ice cream. In fact, one of our first dates was going to Baskin n Robbins where I ordered a double scoop. Might as well break him in early right? To be honest, I did consider for a moment ordering only one scoop, but the reality is I NEVER order only one scoop. Who was I kidding?
From that day on we frequently walked to get ice cream, drove to get ice cream and made special stops at the grocery store to, you guessed, get ice cream. To me this ice cream eating was perfectly normal, but to Ryan, not so much.
I remember one day him telling me that in the past 3 months he had eaten more ice cream than he had in YEARS. YEARS PEOPLE. He then informed me that he rarely if ever even had ice cream in the house. I almost passed out but held it together; after all, I was falling in love and even better, I knew he would never steal my ice cream!
Flash forward a few months and I started to spend some more time at Ryan’s house so, to be nice, he kept a few things I liked in the fridge, one of them being ice cream. I would have a little bit every once and a while, but I wasn’t there enough to hit the cardboard on the bottom. A while later, while scanning the fridge for a snack I noticed the same pint of ice cream, untouched from the last time I dug in.
Later still and that same pint of ice cream was still just sitting there! I had probably polished of 5 pints since… I’m talking MONTHS that sad little pint of ice cream sat there. I used to open the carton and check to see if he had eaten any but no. Just that poor rejected old ice crystal laden ice cream going to waste. It was official. I would have to support Ben and Jerry alone.
Where the hell am I going with all of this you might ask? I’m getting there. I just needed to give a little back story so when I tell you about Ryan and my argument you will know why I was RIGHT!
A few weeks ago I bought Ryan a scoop of Tax Crunch ice cream from Baskin n Robbins. I know it is one of his favorites and they only have it once a year; and I am just THAT nice. Anyway, that damn scoop of ice cream sat in the freezer day after day, week after week, mocking me. Finally, last night I asked him why he hadn’t eaten it yet.
Him: I forgot about it
Me: Forgot about it, how do you forget about a scoop of ice cream specially purchased for you
Him: I just don’t ever think to eat ice cream
…A tiny piece of my heart broke in a million pieces.
Not five minutes later he emerges from the kitchen with his scoop of Tax Crunch and a question.
Him: Where did that pint of Chubby Hubby I bought go?
Me: Umm, I ate it
Him: THE WHOLE THING?
Me: YES, IT WAS IN THERE FOR WEEKS
Him: BUT IT WAS MINE
Me: OH WAS IT? Are we going to start labeling foods now, because if we are then you better go grocery shopping!
Him: That’s not what I meant. You don’t even like Chubby Hubby.
Me: EXCUSE ME. I believe I was the one who introduced you to the flavor and I DO like it. It’s ice cream dude, I LOVE IT
Him: Fine, but you didn’t save me any
Me: Wow, want me to go get you some now because guess what buddy we are in America and we have grocery stores and I can get you another flippin’ pint of ice cream!
Him: I don’t want it, but what if I did and it wasn’t in there?
Me: Then you could drive your ass to the store and buy some more!
He then proceeded to eat almost the entire scoop of Tax Crunch WITHOUT GIVING ME A BITE. Don’t worry, he came to his senses and shared. See, that is what marriage is all about, sharing.
"I'll have 2 scoops of New York Cheesecake on a waffle cone. " love it.
ReplyDeleteAhhh I remember him! "sorry I'm late, the bus driver had to pee." Love it...miss you
ReplyDelete