Um, that's not required
Have I mentioned that I live with a gagger? Well I do, and I'm not talking about the bulimic cat or the "sensitive" bulldog.
I'm talking about Ryan, and oh man is he a gagger!
He gags every time he picks up dog poop. He gags every time he brushes his teeth, sometimes to the point of puking. And god forbid he turn the 30 degrees required to puke in the toilet...yeah. He gags EVERY time he changes a dirty diaper. Still, every time. And he gags because he drank too much coffee? Wha? Yeah, every once and a while he will be walking through the kitchen and just gag, out of nowhere! I'm like what the hell is wrong with you?! Too much coffee babe. Too much coffee and you just randomly start gagging?!
I feel bad that I am not more sympathetic (kind of), but it makes absolutely no sense to me at all! For I myself am not a gagger, not even a little bit. In fact I can't even remember a time that something made me gag. Okay, get your minds out of the gutter. Right now my naive mother is like, "What? Why would that make someones mind go to the gutter?" Hi mom
Anyway, the other night Caches was in the bath when I handed him his toothbrush to brush his teeth. He put it in his mouth, brushed for a few moments and then turned toward Ryan and faux gagged!! I was DYING, he was laughing. Now every time he brushes his teeth, if Ryan is present, he gags. Well, he doesn't genuinely gag, I think he gags because he thinks that is just part of the process. Great. Now, how to explain to a toddler that tooth brushing does not in fact require gagging? This is the shit that isn't in the baby books.
I'm talking about Ryan, and oh man is he a gagger!
He gags every time he picks up dog poop. He gags every time he brushes his teeth, sometimes to the point of puking. And god forbid he turn the 30 degrees required to puke in the toilet...yeah. He gags EVERY time he changes a dirty diaper. Still, every time. And he gags because he drank too much coffee? Wha? Yeah, every once and a while he will be walking through the kitchen and just gag, out of nowhere! I'm like what the hell is wrong with you?! Too much coffee babe. Too much coffee and you just randomly start gagging?!
I feel bad that I am not more sympathetic (kind of), but it makes absolutely no sense to me at all! For I myself am not a gagger, not even a little bit. In fact I can't even remember a time that something made me gag. Okay, get your minds out of the gutter. Right now my naive mother is like, "What? Why would that make someones mind go to the gutter?" Hi mom
Anyway, the other night Caches was in the bath when I handed him his toothbrush to brush his teeth. He put it in his mouth, brushed for a few moments and then turned toward Ryan and faux gagged!! I was DYING, he was laughing. Now every time he brushes his teeth, if Ryan is present, he gags. Well, he doesn't genuinely gag, I think he gags because he thinks that is just part of the process. Great. Now, how to explain to a toddler that tooth brushing does not in fact require gagging? This is the shit that isn't in the baby books.
Many many people gag while brushing their teeth, taking out trash, smelling mayo, or a host of other things that it is TOTALLY NORMAL to gag at. Your husband is 100% normal, and no, I have no possibly genteic bias on this gagging issue.
ReplyDeleteI believe that it is NOT normal if the referenced things don't make you gag. Come on, poop, brushing your teeth, too much coffee - who doesn't gag at those attrocities?? I've even heard of some people who drink too much iced tea and gag. I've also heard tell of a WONDERFUL mother who gagged (and puked) whenever one of her 2 kids threw up - the one kid who could never make it to the toilet but just threw up in place!! And, as with the above referenced writer, I too have NO GENETIC BIAS on this issue. None. At all. Whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Of course other gaggers are quick to defend mine.
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA. Like mother like daughter, oh, and son. You married into this - you have no one to blame but yourself. Who is crazier, the crazier person who has no control over his crazy, or the looney bird who willingly (I think) marries him. xoxo Crazy, Sr.
ReplyDelete