Smash everything!
*I wrote this when I was about 6/7 weeks along and drowning in a sea of hormones.
Some women get morning sickness, others hemorrhoids, and other still suffer from a variety of pregnancy related symptoms. I for one came down with a strange but serious symptom called hatred, yes, hatred. For the first two months of my pregnancy, and every so often still, I hated everything! Yep, I hate that too. I was so filled with hate that I wanted to act out like a tantruming toddler, to stomp my foot, to scream and yell, to throw ALL THE BOOKS. I wanted to hit people with my car, seriously. I often wanted to physically hurt Ryan for no good reason other than he wasn't infected with the hate I had pulsing through me. I was possessed! I had no filter!
The smallest thing would set me off and suddenly all I could think about was bashing every single appliance in my house Office Space style with a giant wooden bat. Oh my god it would have felt amazing to just beat the shit out of something on those days. Even just imagining it now feels good. And imagine it is pretty much all I did then too. Even with hormone hate ripping through my veins I am a fairly peaceful sort. I spent a lot of time taking deep breaths, separating myself from human contact to regain logical thought, and looking in the mirror to make sure my head hadn't actually started spinning or sprouting horns.
We made it through the worst of it relatively unscathed and for the most part the hate has left my body. Because I never really had any pregnancy symptoms with Caches, this one in particular took me by surprise. But after sharing my experience with others, I have discovered that other women come down the a similar case. I blame hormones, I blame them for everything. I am still moody at times, but let's be real here, pregnant or not I tend to be moody; It is part of my charm.
Some women get morning sickness, others hemorrhoids, and other still suffer from a variety of pregnancy related symptoms. I for one came down with a strange but serious symptom called hatred, yes, hatred. For the first two months of my pregnancy, and every so often still, I hated everything! Yep, I hate that too. I was so filled with hate that I wanted to act out like a tantruming toddler, to stomp my foot, to scream and yell, to throw ALL THE BOOKS. I wanted to hit people with my car, seriously. I often wanted to physically hurt Ryan for no good reason other than he wasn't infected with the hate I had pulsing through me. I was possessed! I had no filter!
The smallest thing would set me off and suddenly all I could think about was bashing every single appliance in my house Office Space style with a giant wooden bat. Oh my god it would have felt amazing to just beat the shit out of something on those days. Even just imagining it now feels good. And imagine it is pretty much all I did then too. Even with hormone hate ripping through my veins I am a fairly peaceful sort. I spent a lot of time taking deep breaths, separating myself from human contact to regain logical thought, and looking in the mirror to make sure my head hadn't actually started spinning or sprouting horns.
We made it through the worst of it relatively unscathed and for the most part the hate has left my body. Because I never really had any pregnancy symptoms with Caches, this one in particular took me by surprise. But after sharing my experience with others, I have discovered that other women come down the a similar case. I blame hormones, I blame them for everything. I am still moody at times, but let's be real here, pregnant or not I tend to be moody; It is part of my charm.
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