Fight night

Ryan and I rarely argue and when we do it is usually over stupid shit.  Like what coffee ice cream tastes like.  This gem was the topic of our heated discussion last night.  We'd had it before, and I am sure we will have it again; we can not and will not agree to disagree.  On this important topic neither one of us is willing to budge.

One of us, the right one, thinks that coffee ice cream tastes like coffee with cream and sugar.  The other one of us, the wrong one, thinks that it tastes like black coffee.  Black coffee that has a sweetness and a creamy texture.  You know, because it is ice cream.

I am not kidding, that is a direct quote from the man I married...willingly.

He continued with a long, elaborate explanation of how the two tastes were different while I remained firm that coffee with cream and sugar is the same thing as black coffee with a sweetness and a creamy texture.  At least once it is melted in your mouth it is.  I was even willing to bend my description to iced coffee with cream and sugar but he was unrelenting.

I pointed out that the very ingredients of coffee ice cream are, cream, sugar and coffee!  Okay, and egg yolk, but this isn't about the eggs!  He didn't care.  He never cares about silly things like logic or reality.  He is far too creative in his arguments, and quite frankly, insane.

I thought the conversation was over, it was for me, but he wasn't done.  Oh no, he had to go on and on about the base of all ice cream being vanilla, but without vanilla flavoring if it isn't vanilla.  Yeah.  And how I wouldn't say that mocha ice cream tasted like coffee with cream and sugar and chocolate, only I would, because it DOES!  It turned ugly when artificial flavors joined the conversation, and I totally checked out when he started trying to convince me that I actually agreed with him.

The bottom line, in my humble correct opinion, is that Ryan is having a little bit of cognitive dissonance about the whole thing.  You see, Ryan does not like coffee with cream and sugar, but he does like coffee ice cream.  So admitting that coffee ice cream tastes like coffee with cream and sugar would be like admitting that he actually does like mayonnaise.

Oh wait a moment, he does.  When it is mixed into chicken broccoli casserole.  Which it is.  Like a lot of it.  And he eats the shit out of it.  Game.  Set.  Match.  I rest my case.  I win.


Comments

  1. This reminds me of an equally frustrating discussion I had with my aunt. She is convinced Calcium causes heartburn. That's why they put it in Tums. The Tums part cancels the heartburn effect of the calcium. Now, her logic could not take me to why they would put a heartburn-causing ingredient into a heartburn-curing product. No one won that one.

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