September 26, 2009
Everyone told me that the first year of marriage would be the hardest; but they were wrong. The first year was filled with newness and fun. We attended parties, went away on impromptu camping trips, and late movies. We were free to do pretty much whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. Our first year ended with an absolutely perfect anniversary trip to Cayucos. Gelato, Taco Temple, left over wedding cake, Champagne, the beach and the conception of our first baby to be.
The second year was again filled with excitement, spontaneity, and preparation. Our love was growing by an entire human being and we were over the moon. We took advantage of our couples only status with loosely planned vacations and mornings spent drinking coffee in bed until noon. We had it all figured out, and then we had a baby.
A beautiful, perfect, passionate baby boy who would change everything in a way none could have imagined.
Last year we spent our anniversary in our garage, it was our first post baby "date." Ryan spent all afternoon transforming the garage into a tiny restaurant, complete with candles and music for the occasion. We didn't even make it an hour before baby needed me inside.
The rest of the year followed suit. Having a challenging baby puts a strain of everything, including marriage. I know for some couples, the addition of a baby isn't all that taxing on their relationship. Things just seem to fall into place and the new normal is fairly easy to get used to. It wasn't for us. We were put through quite the adjustment and to be honest, we are still adjusting. But we hold strong.
Sometimes Ryan and I think back on this time last year and wonder how we made it through. It was an experience that could have broken a lesser bond. High stress, sleep deprivation and emotional tidal waves filled our days and they did not quiet with nightfall, but we stayed close. And we remain.
I can not take the credit for closeness we maintain. For I am not the easiest person to be married to. I am not free and open with my feelings. I shut down. But somehow Ryan knows how to open me up. He knows when I need my space and when I need my space invaded. He reminds me that we have our whole lives for dates and a weekend get away, but that we only have right now for this baby, and that is okay, we are okay. And so we stay.
I am married to the man of many a woman's dreams. A true romantic. A gentleman in a world lacking. A man who without question dances in the middle of the night with a screaming baby on his chest. A man who takes the time to let me know I am loved. I man who takes the time to let everyone he cares about know just how much.
Ryan Matthew, you are the cream in my coffee and the sugar in my tea. I know you aren't supposed to think or say that another person completes you and blah, blah, blah, but I'm saying it. You really do complete me. It's not that I'm not a whole, thinking person without you, it's just that I'm a whole lot better person with you. I couldn't do any of it without you. And so we will stay. Forever.
*Last night I looked back at pictures from out wedding day. If you'd like to do the same here is a link to the brilliant Jeff Starbuck's photo blog. There is also a video of Ryan's speech if you feel like crying.
The second year was again filled with excitement, spontaneity, and preparation. Our love was growing by an entire human being and we were over the moon. We took advantage of our couples only status with loosely planned vacations and mornings spent drinking coffee in bed until noon. We had it all figured out, and then we had a baby.
A beautiful, perfect, passionate baby boy who would change everything in a way none could have imagined.
Last year we spent our anniversary in our garage, it was our first post baby "date." Ryan spent all afternoon transforming the garage into a tiny restaurant, complete with candles and music for the occasion. We didn't even make it an hour before baby needed me inside.
The rest of the year followed suit. Having a challenging baby puts a strain of everything, including marriage. I know for some couples, the addition of a baby isn't all that taxing on their relationship. Things just seem to fall into place and the new normal is fairly easy to get used to. It wasn't for us. We were put through quite the adjustment and to be honest, we are still adjusting. But we hold strong.
Sometimes Ryan and I think back on this time last year and wonder how we made it through. It was an experience that could have broken a lesser bond. High stress, sleep deprivation and emotional tidal waves filled our days and they did not quiet with nightfall, but we stayed close. And we remain.
I can not take the credit for closeness we maintain. For I am not the easiest person to be married to. I am not free and open with my feelings. I shut down. But somehow Ryan knows how to open me up. He knows when I need my space and when I need my space invaded. He reminds me that we have our whole lives for dates and a weekend get away, but that we only have right now for this baby, and that is okay, we are okay. And so we stay.
I am married to the man of many a woman's dreams. A true romantic. A gentleman in a world lacking. A man who without question dances in the middle of the night with a screaming baby on his chest. A man who takes the time to let me know I am loved. I man who takes the time to let everyone he cares about know just how much.
Ryan Matthew, you are the cream in my coffee and the sugar in my tea. I know you aren't supposed to think or say that another person completes you and blah, blah, blah, but I'm saying it. You really do complete me. It's not that I'm not a whole, thinking person without you, it's just that I'm a whole lot better person with you. I couldn't do any of it without you. And so we will stay. Forever.
*Last night I looked back at pictures from out wedding day. If you'd like to do the same here is a link to the brilliant Jeff Starbuck's photo blog. There is also a video of Ryan's speech if you feel like crying.
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