9 Weeks

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Today Caches is 9 weeks old which means that he has approximately 3 weeks to get his shit together or pack his bags.  All the books and all the moms say that it gets better by 12 weeks and I am literally counting down the days. 

In all fairness he has gotten better and is having a little more happy awake time, but I am still waiting for him to just relax and feel some peace.  There is nothing more heart wrenching that listening to your sweet baby scream and know that there is NOTHING you can do to make it better. 

I bounce, swaddle, pacifier, no pacifier, check the diaper, give a bath, sway, jiggle, nurse, stand on my damn head if I could and the screaming continues.  It is kind of like being pecked to death by a chicken.  One little peck, like a little bit of crying, is no big deal, a mild annoyance.  But if the chicken just keeps pecking and pecking and pecking pretty soon you are like what the fuck chicken!! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL ME! 

I can literally feel a piece of my heart shriveling up and DYING and the little chicken gobbles it up. Of course all the broken pieces are mended when he flashes me a toothless grin or makes eye contact for even just a moment. So I'll continue to hold him all night long, shhhhh in his ear, pat his fluffy bottom, go pee with him balanced in one arm and lose countless hours of sleep because some day my little chicken will be all grown up and as crazy as it seems to say this now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to miss it. 

And since I'm feeling nostalgic.  Here is a picture from 9 weeks ago




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