clean floors, dirty paws

Like most dogs, accept for Lilly who is far to sophisticated, Abner like to disembowel stuffed toys.  There is noting quite like gnawing off the leg of a cute fluffy doggy to pass the time.  And I love nothing more than coming home to a room covered in  poly fill and dog vomit because Abner has YET AGAIN gotten poly fill stuck in the back of his throat and gagged himself...3 or 4 times.  As much as he loves to tear apart toys, there is one that he has had since he was a baby that he has never tried to injure, his bunny.  I am petty sure my mom got this bunny at the last chance mercantile, aka the dump, and that it was love at first sight for Abner.  I still remember his first encounter with the bunny.  He sniffed it, started to chew on the eyeballs a little bit and then began licking the muzzle.  From there he lay down and began to "nurse" the muzzle of the bunny making the strangest snorting noises.  I thought awe, how cute, and figured ...

It is the first day of Autumn, by far my favorite season.  When the trees set aflame and your feet make that magical crunching sound as you walk through the neighborhood. New look for the blog New attitude for the lady And a beautiful photograph for the eyes I'd sure love to run along this path... and roll around in these leaves like I was 5 years old again.  Not worried about getting dirty or getting spiders in my hair because someone else did the laundry and secretly swept spiders off my back.  Tight squeeze, cool breeze, pumpkin spice lattes

8,760 hours 730 days 24 months 2 years The world will never be the same And neither will I 7 weeks 9 weeks & 6 pounds  Watching Lilly Play 10 weeks Sleeping on dad's legs 3-4 months Hating his life 6 months Big Bird? Loving mom 1st Birthday Party Playing in the dirt 1.9 years Happy Second Birthday Abner. I love you more than you'll ever know...because you are a dog and you think your life is how all dogs lives are and really have no idea how much time is devoted to your happiness all to have you throw up on my freshly cleaned carpet, 4 times. Lucky you're so cute

In a world so full of "new and improved," (which by the way is impossible because if something is new it cannot be also improved), RESIST.  Resist the urge to buy something new and presumably better.  Make something yourself.  Reuse or re-purpose an item you already have.  Use your own two hands, your imagination, your passion. Feel it.  Put love into what you make. Too often we opt for the easy way out, the microwavable, the pre-packaged, the brand new, wrapped up in a pretty box with a bow no less. I love bows. Why?  Because it is EASY and we like easy. We like things easy so much that there is a person out there sitting on a fortune because he invented an easy button; but easy isn't always better. The best meals take time to prepare, children years to mold, animals countless hours of love and training.  And when I see people giving up puppies after owning them for 8 months and parents in the supermarket degrading their children and familie...

Around 11pm one evening.  In the bathroom.  Brushing our teeth.  One of us gagging.  The other...just brushing. Me: "You know I hate to be a nag but..." Ryan: "But what?" As he finishes brushing his teeth and sets the toothbrush on the counter Me: "Why do you put the toothbrush and toothpaste on the counter after you brush?  Why not put it away in the drawer?" Ryan: "I don't want my toothbrush to mold." Me: "MOLD?  Nice try buddy."

 If you have ever read this blog, or met me, you know that I love my dogs more than any normal person should.  You also know that I spend at least 25% of every day chasing Abner around, saving him from falling into holes, eating bees and other toxic items, choking on sticks, wandering off and/or accidentally killing himself; he is my problem child. He gives me endless material for this blog and for when my friends who have actual "children" are telling stories and I have to come up with something cute my child did.  They look at me weird and I'm like what? Oh really, your kid is so cool.  Can you lock your kid up in a box for 8 hours and go get drunk?  I didn't think so. At least not without the authorities getting involved.  So while Abner keeps me on my toes and drives me closer and closer to the Garden Pavilion, Lilly moves from one couch to another day dreaming about dinner time and being a perfect lady.  Well, perfect  if you discount the...

No, I'm not going to sing the song, though I do LOVE that song.  I know you know that I love it and sing it at inappropriate times, but I can't help it, it's catchy.  Quite possibly the worst lyrics I have ever sang ("if I were a boy, I'd turn off my phone, tell everyone it's broken, so they'd think that I was sleeping alone" Yeah, WORST LYRICS EVER) but don't worry, I change it up and sing my own lyrics. Anyway, that is totally not what this post is about.  This post is about if I were a boy I would be offended daily.  Not by my wife nagging me not to spill my beer (who does that!?) but by television shows AND commercials. I am constantly complaining to Ryan about it.  I'm like babe, aren't you offended by this purex laundry sheet bull shit?  They are basically calling all men idiots, that means YOU!  Sometimes he agrees or plays along and other times I'm talking to a glassy eyed maniquen.  Hello, earth to Ryan, offensive commercia...

I was going through my pictures recently and came across this shot of Abner that my friend Suzanne took.  I immediately noticed it because, hey, IT IS ACTUALLY GOOD QUALITY and not taken with either my crappy old digital that "sometimes works" or my iphone.  Thanks Suzie

I know it is September, but I am going to get caught up on my August posts because I was brain dead in August, remember.  Anyway, aside from the emotional ups and downs there were some good times. One of them was the Giants game we attended.  Up until about 2 years ago my husband did not watch baseball on television unless it was some sort of special event.  In fact, he probably didn't even watch those.   I imagine he couldn't have named 3 players on the Giants if his life depended on it.  Then I ripped him away form his friends and family and boredom drove him to start watching baseball.  Guess what, he likes it.  I'm not going to say that he is some sort of overnight super fan, but you might catch him wearing a SF hat and shooting the shit about the game in the grocery store with fellow fans.  Aww, so cute.  Well, we talked about going to a game last year and it just didn't work out with all the wedding "to-do's," so this year we made...

I often catch Abner falling asleep sitting up; his head to heavy to hold and his eyelids fighting to stay open.  I used to think it was cute.  Used to... Not today,  today I want to poke him and in an extremely condescending voice say, "Oh poor baby.  Didn't you get your 18 hours of sleep?  Your life must be SOO HARD!  All that sleeping and eating and pooping must really must take it out of you.  YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TIRED IS KID!  Not only do you get to sleep all day but your snoring keeps me up at night making me want to plug your nose and drag your bed down the hall.  If you nod off one more time I'm quitting my job and feeding you Alpo.  That will teach you!" To be honest I have ranted at him before, Lilly too.  They just look at me with glazed over eyes  (I'm pretty sure Lilly rolls hers) and yawn.  "Mom is crazy....zzzzzzzz." Oh to be a dog

As you know, Ryan's garden is in full swing with zucchini and I am pleased to report that with the heat we have been having, the tomatoes are getting plump and red. Most people would use the zucchini for healthy dishes like salad.  Not me, I like carbs! Today I made a zucchini cake with glorious cream cheese frosting.  As you can see I saved a piece without frosting just in case Ryan wants to try it.  He probably won't, "be in the mood" or he, "won't care for any, thank you" but I still save a piece because I am just that nice. Really I'm just slowing trying to convert him to eat sweets so I can make MORE and eat MORE and not feel guilty because I AM THE ONLY ONE EATING THEM! Mmmm

NO! I apologize AGAIN for being a slacker and not posting lately.  I honestly love writing/venting and sharing my life with whoever reads this word vomit I call a blog.  This is a place I come to relax, regroup and rehash my days; then why hardly any posts all of August? It has been a LONG MONTH You know that old saying, "Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug."  Well you might want to check your windshield.  There is a large possibility that I'm squished on there with one wing flapping in the breeze. For various reasons, some of which I will discuss later and some private, I have been left physically and emotionally DRAINED most of this month.  So drained that my usual sarcasm and energy for this blog are rotting on the grill of a Ford truck somewhere between here and San Francisco. Things have happened this month that I NEVER saw coming and others that were faltering and have finally come to a head.  I feel a sense of calm mix...