The Clapper would have come in handy...
Last night Ryan and I climbed into bed with heavy eyes and upon getting comfortable realized we hadn’t turned off the light. I looked at him. He looked at me. We stared at each other and just as he motioned to get up I was all, “oh, babe, I would have totally gotten up.” SUCKER! I lay back down and he, in a way only he could, kind of like a giant 5 year old, bounced up and kind of leaped to the foot of the bed. BAM! Our bed hit the floor!
I shot up and looked at him and that is when I said it. The kind of thing you try not to say but somehow, once you open your mouth, you cannot stop the words from coming out. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” Something so stupid that I immediately regretted saying it because I got the exact reaction I expected. “Oh, because I KNEW this was going to happen! Like I have NEVER jumped on the bed before! Like we never move around in this bed! Yeah, I was SO TRYING to break the bed!” I tried to back peddle but it was too late. There was nothing left to do but laugh.
We spent the next 20 minutes trying to level out the bed which sounds a lot easier than it was. You see, our bed is OLD and the bed frame is tweaked in the middle which is why it was up on risers in the first place. Trying to get all the risers out while holding up a california king sized bed and laughing so hard you are crying makes for quite an interesting experience. Add a husband that gets stuck, squirming under the bed, a neurotic dog that will not come back into the bedroom for fear of being squashed and you pretty much have our Wednesday night. Actually, you pretty much have our LIFE.
After finally getting the bed as level as possible we climbed in and decided we were both now wide awake. One of us fell asleep 3 minutes later, the other lay in bed thinking. Hummm, our bed is quite low to the ground now, I though. I know that proximity to the ground does not make any difference in the way a normal person sleeps, but I am NOT a normal person. I spent quite a long time just laying there, complaining to myself about how my nightstand feels like it is the wrong size, the TV is now too high up to watch comfortably, my feet will surely hit the floor too soon in the morning, and I’m SURE the bed is even more crooked than it was before.
Eventually I feel asleep but not before going through every possible bed scenario. Should we get a whole new bed or should we just get a new bed frame? Should we purchase an organic cotton bed? What kind of a warranty should we get? I like the Tempurpedic bed but I hear they make you hot and I sleep hot so would that work? If we get a whole new bed it won’t match our dresser…will that bother me? Oh who am I kidding…? EVERYTHING BOTHERS ME. I should make a list of question for if/when we go bed shopping. I can see it now. We are in the midst of a recession and the sales man works on commission but he will see me coming with my list and he will run. Smart guy
I shot up and looked at him and that is when I said it. The kind of thing you try not to say but somehow, once you open your mouth, you cannot stop the words from coming out. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” Something so stupid that I immediately regretted saying it because I got the exact reaction I expected. “Oh, because I KNEW this was going to happen! Like I have NEVER jumped on the bed before! Like we never move around in this bed! Yeah, I was SO TRYING to break the bed!” I tried to back peddle but it was too late. There was nothing left to do but laugh.
We spent the next 20 minutes trying to level out the bed which sounds a lot easier than it was. You see, our bed is OLD and the bed frame is tweaked in the middle which is why it was up on risers in the first place. Trying to get all the risers out while holding up a california king sized bed and laughing so hard you are crying makes for quite an interesting experience. Add a husband that gets stuck, squirming under the bed, a neurotic dog that will not come back into the bedroom for fear of being squashed and you pretty much have our Wednesday night. Actually, you pretty much have our LIFE.
After finally getting the bed as level as possible we climbed in and decided we were both now wide awake. One of us fell asleep 3 minutes later, the other lay in bed thinking. Hummm, our bed is quite low to the ground now, I though. I know that proximity to the ground does not make any difference in the way a normal person sleeps, but I am NOT a normal person. I spent quite a long time just laying there, complaining to myself about how my nightstand feels like it is the wrong size, the TV is now too high up to watch comfortably, my feet will surely hit the floor too soon in the morning, and I’m SURE the bed is even more crooked than it was before.
Eventually I feel asleep but not before going through every possible bed scenario. Should we get a whole new bed or should we just get a new bed frame? Should we purchase an organic cotton bed? What kind of a warranty should we get? I like the Tempurpedic bed but I hear they make you hot and I sleep hot so would that work? If we get a whole new bed it won’t match our dresser…will that bother me? Oh who am I kidding…? EVERYTHING BOTHERS ME. I should make a list of question for if/when we go bed shopping. I can see it now. We are in the midst of a recession and the sales man works on commission but he will see me coming with my list and he will run. Smart guy
Comments
Post a Comment