Feed me candy
This morning as I was wiping fig jam off of the kitchen cabinets, wondering how a piece of strawberry ended up smeared on the foot mat, and yelling at Abner and Lilly to quit stalking the baby for his pancake, I had to stop and wonder; when did feeding the kid become so complicated? Or is it actually easier now? Should I just give him 347 crackers all day to appease him? What the hell do you feed a baby when they won't eat what you think you are supposed to feed them?
He started out as a champion eater. Kale, yes please. Spinach, give me more! He would pretty much down anything I put in his mouth or on his tray without much fuss. Until I used a wire brush and battery acid to wipe his face and hands, of course. Slowly over the course of weeks though, he has decided that he has an opinion about when and what he wants to eat. Shit, I knew this day would come.
He isn't so fond of eggs today, thankyouverymuch! Isn't it fun to spit yogurt out and have it dribble down your chin!? Feed doggies this, and this, and this. Lilly lick my hand, SO funny! Monday HATES raspberries, how dare I feed him this poison. Tuesday, OMG I AM OBSESSIVELY IN LOVE WITH RASPBERRIES AND WILL EAT THEM UNTIL I GET DIARRHEA! Spit out beans, give me some beans!! Don't lock me in this torture device high chair and leave me alone!! Mmm, what are you eating, mama? I want some, I WANT some...GIVE ME SOME!!!! Ewww, I spit it out.
Sigh, I know that this is totally normal behavior and he is simply transitioning into an opinionated toddler, but I needed to come up with a new plan. Carefully cutting up perfect portions in a rainbow of healthy food only to have 99% of it fed to the blood thirsty vultures was not working! So what do I do? Well, first I had to get over the fear of giving my baby "junk" food. It's okay for him to eat strictly carbs for a few days. The world will not end if he ingests baby puffs or a wheat thin. As long as I continue to offer fruits and veggies etc. I know he will begin eating the good stuff again. So once my blood pressure normalized after giving him a hand full of baby puffs I knew I was on the right track. Now I just feed him on the go. He pretty much wants to snack allllll day, no clue where he got that from (totally me) so I just go with the flow.
I prep a bunch of different foods and just give him bites as he passes by. Spit it out, fine. I just toss it in the trash, a dog finds it or he eats it off the floor thirty seconds later. Over the course of the day he gets plenty of variety and plenty of food. Is this an ideal situation, no. Is this a clean compromise, no. Do I enjoy sticky fingers touching everything and sweeping 4 times a day, HELL NO! But it is way easier than fighting with him or trying to have "set" meal times. Plus I know that it is a phase and just like his eating everything without protest, this too shall pass. And I'm sure I'll have ample opportunities to discuss and argue about table manners with him in the future when he, ya know, understands English. Until then we'll eat on the fly, and off of the floor.
He started out as a champion eater. Kale, yes please. Spinach, give me more! He would pretty much down anything I put in his mouth or on his tray without much fuss. Until I used a wire brush and battery acid to wipe his face and hands, of course. Slowly over the course of weeks though, he has decided that he has an opinion about when and what he wants to eat. Shit, I knew this day would come.
He isn't so fond of eggs today, thankyouverymuch! Isn't it fun to spit yogurt out and have it dribble down your chin!? Feed doggies this, and this, and this. Lilly lick my hand, SO funny! Monday HATES raspberries, how dare I feed him this poison. Tuesday, OMG I AM OBSESSIVELY IN LOVE WITH RASPBERRIES AND WILL EAT THEM UNTIL I GET DIARRHEA! Spit out beans, give me some beans!! Don't lock me in this
Sigh, I know that this is totally normal behavior and he is simply transitioning into an opinionated toddler, but I needed to come up with a new plan. Carefully cutting up perfect portions in a rainbow of healthy food only to have 99% of it fed to the blood thirsty vultures was not working! So what do I do? Well, first I had to get over the fear of giving my baby "junk" food. It's okay for him to eat strictly carbs for a few days. The world will not end if he ingests baby puffs or a wheat thin. As long as I continue to offer fruits and veggies etc. I know he will begin eating the good stuff again. So once my blood pressure normalized after giving him a hand full of baby puffs I knew I was on the right track. Now I just feed him on the go. He pretty much wants to snack allllll day, no clue where he got that from (totally me) so I just go with the flow.
I prep a bunch of different foods and just give him bites as he passes by. Spit it out, fine. I just toss it in the trash, a dog finds it or he eats it off the floor thirty seconds later. Over the course of the day he gets plenty of variety and plenty of food. Is this an ideal situation, no. Is this a clean compromise, no. Do I enjoy sticky fingers touching everything and sweeping 4 times a day, HELL NO! But it is way easier than fighting with him or trying to have "set" meal times. Plus I know that it is a phase and just like his eating everything without protest, this too shall pass. And I'm sure I'll have ample opportunities to discuss and argue about table manners with him in the future when he, ya know, understands English. Until then we'll eat on the fly, and off of the floor.
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