Who stinks?

In my ever evolving, never ending journey to rid my cosmetic case and family of toxins I have tried over 10 different types of deodorant and guess what, toxins make you smell nice!  I have yet to find one that doesn't give up on me by noon. 

Not that I sweat profusely or am unclean, but a grown woman needs a good deodorant.  I don't even mind if I still sweat, but I'd prefer not to smell like musty twelve year old boy at the end of my day, thank you very much.

It is obviously less noticable on days when I don't do a lot of physical activity, but lately I have been working pretty hard WITH STEAM BILLOWING IN MY FACE and let me put it this way, my need/want for a good deodorant that actually works is climbing my priority list. 

On Wednesday I had my first set of "dry runs," which basically means I do a full shift of facials on employees of the spa who critique me.  Well, halfway through with my nerves going and the steam heating up, I was wondering if it was my guest or me that smelt a little ripe.  Upon lifting my arm it became apparent that it was ME.

Mortified, I ran to the bathroom between guests and did a quick white trash shower but who was I kidding, I was forever going to be known as B.O girl.  I can see it now, I walk into the break room and a hush falls because they are all talking about the esthetician with the B.O!  I haven't even been there a month and I'm already a freak!

Anyway, Friday were my final dry runs which I had to pass in order to get on the schedule and start working for real; and by for real I mean making more than minimum wage and TIPS.  Well, Friday morning I'm getting ready and I see my hippie deodorant and think no, not today, today I wear Ryan's toxic deodorant.

By the way, Ryan's deodorant is "off limits" when it comes to my detoxifying.  According to him I can take away his paper towels and Suave shampoo, but  I best not TOUCH THE OLD SPICE!  And if and when he complains about something like getting yelled at for using a paper towel, I always have the guilty excuse of, "I'M SOOOO SORRY FOR TYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE, AT LEAST YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR DAMN DEODORANT!"

I smeared it on not even thinking that I would soon smell like a man and not only be the B.O girl, but also be the girl that sometimes smells like a MAN.  Good god, I was never meant for the public eye!

So about 3 facials in I started to smell Old Spice and I was like mmm, nice.  But then for the next three hours I didn't know weather to take a shower or make out with myself. 

Oh life, you are so amusing.

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