Caution! Watch for children!

About a month ago an ice cream truck that I wouldn't let my child within 50 feet of moved in next door. I say "moved in" because the ice cream man lives in his questionable van in our neighbor's driveway. Allow me to share a small back story. You see, our neighbor is probably 97 years old and in the year we have lived here I have only seen her once. That one time was right when we moved in and she told us the only people she ever wanted to see in her driveway were her and my husband if he was pulling weeds. Duly noted little old lady but THERE IS A CREEPY ICE CREAM MAN IN YOUR DRIVEWAY? I have a few theories. 1: This creepy ice cream man is her son and she won't let is weird ass in her house, so she makes him live in the driveway, in his van, in the freezing cold 2: She is so old and out of touch that she doesn't even know there is a crazy ice cream man living in her driveway. LADY! CRAZY ICE CREAM MAN IN DRIVEWAY!! 3: He is not selling ice cream out of his van but he is selling drugs. Under those bags of Cheetos, Doritos, Smarties and lollies there are little bags of a different kind of candy.
As of this minute I am going with theory #3 because what kind of ice cream man leaves the house at 6am every morning, in the WINTER to sell ice cream. Additionally what kind of ice cream man does not arrive home from selling ice cream until 11pm. WHO IS BUYING A BIG STICK AT 11PM? IN THE WINTER?!!
In conclusion, if you are trying to bring the value of your home down by about 50,000 dollars I am sure this guy is available to park in your neighbor's driveway for a nominal fee.

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