clean floors, dirty paws

I think I speak for the vast majority of parents with children aged 0-10 when I say, "Daylight savings, fuck you!" Just when we had a decent sleep rhythm going, ol' "Spring ahead" had to come along and mess it up.  And guess what?  It will probably take my high maintenance kid approximately 6 months to adapt to this schedule putting us at a happy place just in time to "Fall back" and mess everything up again.  Uhh!  Not necessary people, NOT necessary! In other news, I have a kid !  As much as I HATE to admit it, he isn't really a baby anymore.  sob sob sob sob.  He is a wake up with his ass on fire, passionate, hilarious, absolutely ridiculous mess of curls, dirt, snot and crazy. ...and he kid loves a balloon

About three weeks ago, when the shit storm of sickness and sadness began, Caches had a croup attack and ended up in the ER.  It's not much of a story.  I was home alone with him and about an hour after I put him to bed he woke up coughing.  I went to get him and by the time I got into his room he was gasping for air, eyes bulging out of his head and a look of total panic on his face. I tried to calm him down with offering to nurse, rocking, reminding him to take a slow breath, but nothing was working.  Now he had been fighting to breathe for almost five minutes and I was starting to worry.  He was fine all day and when I put him down so I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was wrong and worried that he was having some sort of allergic reaction.  I debated the ER for a while, but finally couldn't take the what ifs anymore and decided to go. He stopped coughing and gasping by the time we arrived and the second I walked in I regretted bringing him.  If he wasn'

"How are you doing today, ma'am?"     " Oh, fine thanks.  And yourself?" ... I'm not "Thank you, have a nice day." "You do the same (smile)." ...I won't I start to walk out of the store, and then I see her.  A woman with a little girl about Caches' age and a newborn baby wrapped in a sling.  ... I can't I lower my head and walk to my car as fast as I can until I'm safely inside.  I collapse in tears.  I am in the midst of a miscarriage. Most of you didn't even know I was pregnant.  I was planning to announce it here after the appointment with my midwife last Wednesday;  I never made it to that happy appointment.  Instead I had an emergency appointment last Tuesday.  An ultrasound confirmed it.  The baby whose heart I  had seen beating just 3 weeks before was gone.  There was nothing left.  I have never felt so empty in my entire life.  It was just, gone. I felt like it was all a bad dream, like someon

Today at our playgroup, one of the other children's parents asked me if Caches was a good napper.  After I finished choking on my cracker, I answered, "Ehh, not good or bad, he just has never slept for long stretches day or night unless he is being held.  He's typically a 30 minute napper." She looked at me as though I had three heads and sheepishly told me that she was about to complain about her daughter only napping for 1.5 hours when she used to nap close to 3 hours a day.  Three hours!?  You know what I could do with THREE child free hours!?  Just thinking about it makes my heart pitter patter.  Anyway, I just kinda smiled and nodded, something I have damn near perfected over the past year and a half, and went back to my cracker. But she wasn't done.  "He must sleep great at night then, right?  I mean if he only naps for 30 minutes he should be exhausted." Here we go.  "Um, he is pretty tired come bed time but again, he just isn't wha